Tag: instant

The Secret Minister – Lost In Translation

Being bumped from a prominent speaking slot at the EPP conference at the last minute to accommodate Bono is not an ideal way to round off the week, but political life is cut throat and in hindsight An Taoiseach probably made the right decision. In the days since my barnstorming speech at the Fine Gael… Read more »

‘International Men’s Day Better’ Say Men

Men around the world have been quick to point out that International Men’s Day is a far superior day to today’s International Women’s Day. Despite drawing criticism for their remarks the vast majority of men are standing by their controversial comments. International Men’s Day takes place across 364 separate days throughout the year and has… Read more »

Civil Unrest As Price Of Chomp Bars Jump To 30c

The government were last night considering a declaration of Martial Law following the third day of civil unrest sparked by Cadburys decision to increase the price of a Chomp to 30 cent. The 20 percent increase in the cost of the beloved chewy bar lit the fuse on a powder-keg that has been waiting to… Read more »

Two Men Arrested For Improving Train Journey

Passengers were reportedly shocked and disturbed by the events that resulted in their journey on the Iarnr√≥d √Čireann service from Longford to Dublin being massively improved. Two men are now believed to be custody following their attempts at enhancing the experience of passengers on the 5.40am train by pulling on the emergency break chord and… Read more »

NASA Hire Irish Travelers To Collect Orbiting Space Debris

AMERICAN SPACE Agency, NASA announced today a $2bn scrappage deal with an Irish Traveler family to collect over 4,000 dormant satellites orbiting the earth. John Anthony Connors from Limerick and his 14 brothers Jamsie, Paddy, Micky, Joseph, Mikey, Peter, Mick, John Paul, Aiden, Steven, Joey, Jamsie and Michael will travel to a special training facility… Read more »

Hilarious Facebook User Quotes Father Ted Again

AFTER FOURTEEN likes from complete strangers, Facebook user Mark Holden patted himself on the back again for writing yet another perfectly timed Father Ted quote on a comments thread. The 28-year-old funny man immediately swooped in to action after a local news page reported of gunshots being fired in the Ukrainian standoff in Crimea. “I… Read more »