Tag: instant

Adult Culchie Still Pronouncing Medium ‘Meejum’

THE LATEST reports coming into WWN from Tipperary have revealed that one local woman regularly pronounces the word medium a hard ‘meejum’, despite having ears of her own. It is believed Tara Mulgerrit, an adult woman of about 35 years and 4 months, has an otherwise flawless command and understanding of the English language, yet… Read more »

Local Man Would Want To Be Getting The Ride After This

WATERFORD native Sean Merrington is expecting ‘big things’ in the bedroom department later on tonight, after shelling out almost €24.50 on the finest Valentine’s gifts available in his local 24hr garage for his wife Karen. Merrington, who describes himself as a thoughtful, considerate sex machine, made sure to pick up something very special for his… Read more »

World To Give Up Trump For Lent

A SPOKESPERSON for planet Earth has announced that for Lent this year, the world will be giving up talking about, reading about, listening to and thinking about the current President of the United States, Donald J. Trump for forty days and forty nights. Lent is traditionally the time of year when people attempt to give… Read more »

Dalai Lama, Bill Clinton, Bono, Iron Man, Kanye West, Crocodile Dundee, Kim Jong-Un, Corpse Of Pope John Paul II & Lassie Arrive At Stormont Ahead Of Crunch Talks

BOTH the UK and Ireland have pulled out all the stops in a last-ditch attempt to get the Northern Ireland Executive back up and running in Stormont today, by inviting along literally anyone they think will be able to talk some sense into Sinn Féin and the DUP and restore some form of power-sharing agreement for the first time… Read more »

Dublin Teenager Scoops Gold In ‘Skulling Smirnoff Ice’ Event

THERE’S great news today in the Irish camp at the 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics, after 17-year-old Dublin teenager Tiffany McDonald secured Ireland’s first gold medal of the tournament with a stunning victory in the ‘sinking bottles of Smirnoff Ice like they’re about to be banned’ event. Full-time student McDonald attributed her outstanding capacity for drinking… Read more »