Tag: instant

Lotto Winner Discovers 47 Cousins He Never Knew He Had

A RECENT Irish winner of a bumper Euromillions jackpot has discovered a double-decker bus full of cousins he was hitherto completely unaware of, WWN can reveal. Michael Drennan’s extended network of cousins, first cousins, second cousins, step cousins and half cousin twice removed made themselves known to the 37-year-old Tramore native in the hours after… Read more »

Ireland Left With Only 657,456 Things To Apologise For

AS President Michael D. Higgins offered words of condolence and apology to an assembled group of Magdalene Laundry survivors in an emotional ceremony in Áras an Uachtarián yesterday, the country went to the book marked ‘Big List Of Things We Have To Apologise For’ to see what was next on the list. Higgins reiterated an… Read more »

GAA To Finally End Practice Of Using Blind Umpires

THE GAA has confirmed it is to end its highly controversial practice of only placing the visually impaired in umpire positions in All Ireland Hurling games. The welcome news comes after blind umpires failed to notice a goal scored by Tipperary against Waterford in Sunday’s Munster Championship clash was not in fact a goal, as… Read more »

Local Couple Haven’t Had A Night Out In Ages

SEEKING to correct a trend which has continued unabated for ‘God’s knows how long’, one Waterford couple have declared that they haven’t had a night out in ages, shocking the close knit Waterford county community. Sighting current responsibilities, including working, heading to the gym and raising their child, Tramore couple Michael Harney and Tina Longan… Read more »