Tag: instant

Molly Malone Statue Forced To Emigrate

The latest victim of the post-Celtic Tiger sting in the tail is sadly one of Ireland’s most beloved landmarks and hearty slappers, sweet Molly Malone. “This is indicative of the kind of damage the government’s current jobs policy results in,” shared a politician whose name we didn’t bother writing down. While the fishmonger profession, along… Read more »

Mourinho Admitted To Rehab For Mind Games Addiction

Worrying scenes unfolded today in London as Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho was said to have presented himself at exclusive rehab facility the Priory Clinic after finally admitting he is addicted to mind games. “When the presumed injured Cech, Terry and Eto’o were all training it was the final straw,” admitted a club insider, “stranger still… Read more »

Parents Hold Secret Ballot On Which Child They Prefer

The Higgins household had been the scene of ferocious campaigning in recent weeks as rumours of a secret ballot being held reached the children of the family Emily and Josh. Parents Patrick and Nuala had planned to carry out a secret ballot for some time in order to decide once and for all who was… Read more »