Tag: instant

Irish Man To Spend Entire Day Masturbating To Pornsites In Celebration Of Internets 25th Birthday

NATIONAL UNIVERSITY of Ireland student Kenneth Hackett has pledged to spend the entire day masturbating to various different pornsites in celebration of the Internets 25th birthday today. Mr. Hackett told fellow classmates that he will begin his wankfest shortly after 10am, before continuing right on into the lunchtime period. There he is expected to take… Read more »

JJ Abrams to Assist Malaysian Airline Authorities With ‘Lost’ Flight MH370

DIRECTOR JJ Abrams has agreed to assist Malaysian airline authorities in their search for missing flight MH370. Following days of investigations leading nowhere, the 47-year-old flew into the capital Kuala Lumpur earlier this morning to aid in the search. “We have already exhausted our resources.” stated lead investigator Azharuddin Abdul Rahman. “Due to Mr. Abrams… Read more »

Irish Lad With Cheltenham Tip Talking Out Of His Arse

Citing important things such as ‘form’, ‘trainer’, ‘jockey’ and ‘good-to-soft’ Irish lad Danny Scanlan is convinced he has just the tip for the Champion Hurdle at 3.20pm tomorrow. While Danny, a Wexford native, didn’t like to reveal the exact identity of his source for the tip so close to the festival beginning tomorrow. However, he… Read more »