Tag: instant

Idiot Whale Dies After Eating 30kg Of Rubbish

A WHALE described by marine experts as being a “complete and utter idiot” was found washed up in Spain with 29kg of plastic debris in its stomach, WWN can confirm. The young male sperm whale is believed to have died from ‘gastric shock’ following an autopsy which found debris, including nets, plastic bags and a Jerry can in the 10 metre-long… Read more »

New Home Queuing Touts Selling Space In Line For €5k

DESPERATE property buyers are being charged as much as €5,000 euros by queueing touts who have infiltrated a growing number of house hunters who are currently queuing outside a new West Dublin housing estate in the hope of securing a property. The first potential buyers formed a queue at the sales office at Beechwood Heath… Read more »

Where Are They Now? The Brexit Bus

THE BUS slogan that will live in infamy: ‘We send the EU £350 million a week, let’s fund our NHS instead – Vote Leave’. Many commentators maintain that the evocative message emblazoned on the side of the German manufactured Neoplan Skyliner bus swung Britain’s referendum to leave the EU in the favour of the Leave… Read more »

WWN Guide To Fiddling With Kids

ALTHOUGH frowned upon by society, many people are quite fond of the sound of young children practicing the violin. Whether you’re an experienced violin teacher yourself, or your musical tastes are on the more unconventional side, fiddling with children might be right up your street. Here’s a few tips if you want to give it a… Read more »

Hardline US Abortion Campaigner Just ‘Always Wanted To Visit Ireland’

ULTRA-conservative Milwaukee native Garret Merser has arrived in Ireland for a once-in-a-lifetime trip that will see the staunch advocate of Ireland’s 8th amendment ‘tour around’ the country until late May. Stressing that he’s always wanted to visit the emerald isle to retrace his roots and see the sights, Merser is set to take in the Book… Read more »