Tag: instant

Tesla Launches Turf Driven Car For Irish Market

IN A BID to get Ireland on the right environmental track and to push against the resistance to fighting climate change on a local level, electric car manufacturer Tesla has launched its first turf-powered car. “Baby steps lads,” Tesla confirmed at the launched of the car in the wilds of the Roscommon which has been… Read more »

Australian Archbishop Who Covered Up Child Sex Abuse Sentenced To 44 Our Fathers, 12 Hail Marys

A FORMER Australian archbishop has been handed down a staggering 24 Our Fathers and 5 Hail Marys after being convicted of covering up child sex abuse, but managed to escape several decades of the rosary due to his age. A Newcastle Magistrate ordered Adelaide Archbishop Philip Wilson to be detained at his sister’s house for at least six months,… Read more »

Adults Are Just Children In Bigger Bodies, Finds Report

A SHOCKING new report published by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has found that adult human beings are actually just children living inside bigger bodies, forcing scientists to rethink everything they knew about the nature on mankind. Researchers at MIT studied over 10 thousand people over a period of 50 years, making this one of… Read more »

Happiness Directly Linked To Whether Group Of Millionaires Beat Other Millionaires

RESEARCH coming into WWN Sport this morning confirms there is overwhelming evidence that a growing number of people’s happiness is directly linked to whether or not one group of millionaires can triumph over a number of near indecipherable groups of millionaires. The millionaire’d groups, largely hailing from a variety of nations but located in a… Read more »

‘G-Spot Denial’ Scientists Criticised By Women

AN EVER growing collective of like-minded scientists are sharing their expertise and knowledge to warn the world of a dangerous conspiracy among the female population to falsely state the existence of the ‘G-Spot’, something women have denied. Claiming ‘no evidence’ and a left-leaning liberal conspiracy, the all-male group of scientists have confirmed that if their… Read more »

Mourinho To Practice Latest Meltdown In Front Of Mirror

NOTING the ever dwindling impact of his attempts to place the blame on others for his own failings as a manager, Jose Mourinho will practice his next meltdown/rant/lambasting of a 16-year-old youth team player in front of the mirror. Spending much of the summer’s pre-season before the start of the Premier League giving out about… Read more »

Apple Billionaire Granny Smith Dies, Age 91

Granny Smith, the famed Apple magnate whose fortune is valued at €193 billion has died at the age of 91. Georgia Smith was of course more affectionately known as Granny Smith by the rivals she ruthlessly wiped out in the incredibly bloody ‘Apple Wars’ feud of the 1950s. Her resulting victory in the conflict carved… Read more »