Tag: instant

Stormont To Start Letting Rooms Out On Airbnb

KEEN to avoid any accusations that they’re wasting public resources, the remaining shards of the Northern Assembly have put a number of rooms in Stormont up on accommodation-sharing website Airbnb, in a bid to ‘make a few quid’. With the vast majority of the rooms in the east Belfast castle lying idle since the collapse… Read more »

Trump Note Includes Instructions To Not Grab Any Pussies

CLOSER inspection of a note spotted in the hands of President Donald Trump at a discussion about the Parkland school shooting has revealed a number of notes and guidelines seemingly written by POTUS himself, including ‘don’t mention grabbing pussies’, ‘try steer things back to the stock market’, and ‘blame violence on Schwartchennegger [sic] movies’. As he… Read more »

Scientists Discover Link Between People Who ‘Don’t Like Drama’ & Drama Occurring

PIONEERING scientists have been able to identify a link between the occurrence of high levels of drama which was highly avoidable with people who proudly proclaim there is nothing in life they hate more than ‘drama’, WWN has learned. “Cross referencing the number of times an individual stated categorically that they hated drama, and didn’t… Read more »

Meghan Markle Kisses Old Life Goodbye With Traditional Family Execution

SHUDDERING with every gunshot from the Royal guard’s 19th century muskets, soon-to-be princess Meghan Markle watched on as lead pummeled through the bodies of her once immediate family, gasping at every blood curdling thud. “Please don’t be worried, sweetie, we’re doing this for you,” father Tom smiles, his water-filled eyes winsing as his guard took aim, “best not watch now, go on,… Read more »