Tag: instant

Virgin Mary To Sue God Over Unpaid Child Support

THE religious community has been shocked by the news that Mary, mother to Jesus Christ, is to take God to court over unpaid child maintenance payments dating back thousands of years. Described as an ‘absentee father’ in court documents seen by WWN, the deity could be in line to pay child support costs running into… Read more »

Couple Purchase Dog As Dry Run For Parenthood

A LOCAL WATERFORD couple have taken the mature step of placing a 6-week-old French Bulldog in their care in a bid to gauge if they will be one day able to look after a human child, WWN can reveal. Although Richie Plunkett and Orna O’Brien have not expressed the importance the new puppy Baxter will… Read more »

Children Now Demanding Communion Money In Bitcoin

FIRST class pupils at St. Agatha’s NS in Waterford have issued a statement clearly outlining exactly how they would like to receive their First Communion money, after the market-savvy youngsters spotted the potential in making a killing on cryptocurrency. The thirty-eight children, aged between 7 and 8, have told their teacher Mrs. Kennelly to pool… Read more »

Shock As US President Donald Trump Qualifies For The PGA Tour

THE golfing world was said to be in shock today following news that US president Donald Trump has secured a place in the 2018 PGA tour, with him expected to take some considerable time out of his presidency to compete. Speaking from Washington DC, a White House spokesman confirmed that Mr. Trump will be taking part in this weekend’s CareerBuilder… Read more »

Work Colleague Can Give It, But Can’t Take It

FOR Cathal Murphy, having the bants with friends and work colleagues is what life is all about, that is, however, until someone bants him back, a source close to the man has confirmed to WWN. “He usually picks on people that he knows won’t fight back,” exasperated work colleague Theresa Hayes explains, “he’s not even funny… Read more »