Tag: hse

Harris ‘Sorry’ Everybody Getting Sick At The Same Time

THIS season’s Minister for Health, Simon Harris, has officially said sorry to patients for the fact they personally got sick at the same time, stating that he is committed to coasting through the situation as best he can. Speaking with his mouth earlier today, Mr. Harris said he would like to miraculously cure all the 592 people currently left waiting on… Read more »

James Reilly Granted Planning Permission For 4th Chin

Under fire Minister for Health James Reilly has been controversially granted permission for what neighbours have called an ‘unnecessary’ and ‘unsightly’ 4th chin. Construction on the minister’s 4th chin has yet to begin, but it is speculated that this latest move along with the news that the HSE’s budget is facing a hole of €530… Read more »

Illegal Wheelchair Racing Ring Shut Down

Five nurses and two doctors based in Connolly Hospital, Blanchardstown, Dublin have been arrested today. It is believed the individuals are the masterminds behind an underground illegal wheelchair racing ring rumoured to be worth as much as 20 million euro a year. The group are accused of organising wheelchair races involving patients at Connolly Hospital,… Read more »