Tag: health

Considering An Abortion? Read This First

ARE you currently experiencing a crisis pregnancy in Ireland? With the recently introduced legislation which governs the legislation of termination services available or not available in or near your area, subject to article 45 paragraph 9, hitherto referred to as the article, but not affiliated with ongoing applications for a reversal of said legislation, binding… Read more »

“Fuck The Nurses,” Clarifies Government

REMOVING any ambiguity from recent comments made in public, to the Dáil, in the media and said privately when they think no one is listening, the Government have helpfully clarified for the public ‘fuck the nurses’, WWN can reveal. As separate strike actions from midwives and psychiatric nurses remain ongoing, the government has tried to… Read more »

Local Girl ‘Very Done Up’ For Gym

SEVERAL of the male patrons at a Waterford fitness centre have remarked on the overly made-up appearance of one of the gym’s female customers, adding that she dresses in a provocative manner designed solely to distract lads who just want to lift weights and make gains and take selfies. Putting aside the possibility that the as-yet-unnamed… Read more »

€450k Inquiry Into Children’s Hospital Overspend Already €2mn Over Budget

THE GOVERNMENT has reluctantly informed the taxpayer that the €450,000 review into the €1.1 billion overspend on the Children’s Hospital, announced only yesterday, is already €2 million over budget. Visibly grimacing as he relayed the news and shaking his head the Taoiseach, who had to fucking leave Davos for this shit, said “obviously mistakes were… Read more »