Tag: health

Gang Of Polish Lads Brought In To Fix HSE

FED up with the state of the Health Service Executive, the government have turned to a crew of highly recommended Polish lads who claim the job is ‘no problem’, and should be finished up by the weekend tops. Minister For Health Simon Harris found the Polish lads through a neighbour of his who claimed there wasn’t… Read more »

Considering An Abortion? Read This First

ARE you currently experiencing a crisis pregnancy in Ireland? With the recently introduced legislation which governs the legislation of termination services available or not available in or near your area, subject to article 45 paragraph 9, hitherto referred to as the article, but not affiliated with ongoing applications for a reversal of said legislation, binding… Read more »

“Fuck The Nurses,” Clarifies Government

REMOVING any ambiguity from recent comments made in public, to the Dáil, in the media and said privately when they think no one is listening, the Government have helpfully clarified for the public ‘fuck the nurses’, WWN can reveal. As separate strike actions from midwives and psychiatric nurses remain ongoing, the government has tried to… Read more »

Local Girl ‘Very Done Up’ For Gym

SEVERAL of the male patrons at a Waterford fitness centre have remarked on the overly made-up appearance of one of the gym’s female customers, adding that she dresses in a provocative manner designed solely to distract lads who just want to lift weights and make gains and take selfies. Putting aside the possibility that the as-yet-unnamed… Read more »