Tag: health

Government Order Fresh Batch Of Whitewash Ahead Of CervicalCheck Report

WHITEWASH with a street value of €400m is currently on its way to Leinster House in a convoy of articulated tanker trucks from a limestone quarry in the midlands, following a quantity report that suggested that the government’s stocks for 2018 were already depleted, with fresh developments in the CervicalCheck scandal just around the corner. It is… Read more »

Do You Dream Of Being Overworked, Undervalued & Exploited? Have You Considered Becoming A Nurse?

ARE YOU looking for a career that gives you all you’ve ever wanted in life? Are those things you’re searching for bineg ‘overworked’, ‘undervalued’ and ‘exploited’? Well then WWN Jobs might just have the perfect position for you. Nursing is a noble profession which is often called a ‘vocation’ or considered ‘a calling’. What do… Read more »

Local Man Too Hungry To Chance The Falafel

A FAMISHED Waterford man currently trying to decide what to eat for lunch has confirmed he is actually “too hungry” to try the Falafel, but promised to make the decision to eat one someday, just not today. Mark Ryan, 44, who could probably do with losing a few pounds now that he thinks about it, has… Read more »

Government Tick ‘Completely Fuck Over CervicalCheck Victims’ Off Their To Do List

THE GOVERNMENT has capped the expenses package promised to victims of the CervicalCheck scandal, with victims only allowed claim on expenses incurred after the 11th May 2018. Ticking off ‘completely fuck over CervicalCheck victims’ their list, the government freed up time to either pretend homeless figures are going down or distract the public by getting… Read more »

Very Modern Ireland Loudly Tutting At Northern Ireland’s Abortion Laws

THE UK SUPREME Court’s rejection of an appeal from human rights campaigners over Northern Ireland’s abortion laws has given the Yes voting people of Ireland just the 4,567th opportunity to tut dismissively in the direction of Northern Ireland, decrying how it’s a shame it can’t be as astoundingly progressive as the Republic. Very modern, progressive,… Read more »