Tag: football

Man Utd Sign Fabregas In Man Utd Fan’s Head

Gary Farrell, a lifelong Manchester United fan took affirmative action last night and signed Spanish international Cesc Fabregas while simultaneously drooling on his pillow while muttering ‘come, lie beside me Cesc. Now, through ball me’. While the news that transfer signings made by fans as they dream are not transferable to real life has proved… Read more »

England Name 23 Men To Blame For World Cup Failure

IN the aftermath of the conclusion of the Premier League race the football world focused its attention on the announcement of those responsible for England’s upcoming World Cup failure. The occasion was not without its casualties as a number of high profile players got the unfortunate news that they would be on the plane to… Read more »

Mourinho Admitted To Rehab For Mind Games Addiction

Worrying scenes unfolded today in London as Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho was said to have presented himself at exclusive rehab facility the Priory Clinic after finally admitting he is addicted to mind games. “When the presumed injured Cech, Terry and Eto’o were all training it was the final straw,” admitted a club insider, “stranger still… Read more »

Chelsea’s Under-12s To Face Liverpool Claims Mourinho

Jose Mourinho delivered some surprising team news to the awaiting media as he arrived at Anfield for Chelsea’s crunch match against league leaders Liverpool. “No, no. It’s no mind game. Simply, I cannot risk for the Champions League so I’ll play my under 12s. They have so much potential, so it’s okay,” explained Mourinho. The… Read more »