FOOTBALL fans, brimming with excitement for today’s World Cup quarter final clashes, who are searching for expert analysis need look no further than WWN’s dedicated sports team. We size up today’s 3pm and 7pm kick offs and speculate on how it will all play out. France v Uruguay: To combat players crowding the referee like… Read more »
LAST night, the England team did the unthinkable; they progressed through to the next round of the competition by beating a team in a penalty shoot-out. As such, we have moved the England World Cup Doomsday Clock forward by five minutes to 11:55PM, the closest it has been in decades to 12 midnight, and total England… Read more »
There have been a record number of complaints made to FIFA, with football fans claiming the World Cup is malfunctioning following England actually winning a penalty shootout. Despite managing just no more shots in the 90 minutes after Harry Kane’s penalty, the English media have confirmed England have won the World Cup and that Sweden… Read more »
Football fans were repaid for their patience after enduring Spain and Russia with two far more entertaining games yesterday. The football world is in mourning following the untimely death of Neymar after he was murdered by a stray Mexican player’s stud. A funeral will be held once the Brazilian’s body finishes rolling on the sideline…. Read more »
Spain have been dumped out of the World Cup after losing to the hosts Russia on penalties. Russia equalised in the 41st minute through a Dzyuba penalty after Gerard Pique’s arm, which he raised above his head in a bid to ask the referee a question about handball rules in football, was struck by the… Read more »
The last day of the group stages were brought to a close with a stunning flurry of goals and helter skelter football played at a break neck speed some awful matches. In the first set of games Senegal thought they had won a penalty in their match with Colombia before VAR ruled a challenge on… Read more »
Undoubtedly the biggest story of the tournament so far, the holders Germany crashed out of the World Cup with a loss to South Korea, a team who didn’t seem to be aware of the fact that it’s written in FIFA rules somewhere that Germany must get to at least the semi-finals of every World Cup…. Read more »
THE WORLD CUP viewing public have made an explicit threat to band Maroon 5, stating that if the excruciatingly awful Hyundai car ad featuring them appears even just ‘one more time’ on TV there will be violent consequences. “Show that fucking ad one more time, I dare you,” the public said in a statement directly… Read more »
VAR is turning into such a pain in the hole and a contentious point of debate that much of the World Cup’s glorious goals have already faded from memory. A disappointing Australia crashed out of the World Cup after losing 2-0 to Peru. After news of Australia conceding a second goal reached Denmark and France,… Read more »
Russia’s loss to Uruguay has put rumours that Putin put the team on performance enhancing drugs to rest, as they were very, very shit. A Denis Cheryshev own goal and the sending off of Igor Smolnikov certainly helped Uruguay dominate a disappointing Russia which would prompt another less noble publication to make a joke about… Read more »