Tag: football

Man City Stretch League Lead To 788 Points

FOLLOWING their 2-1 victory in the Manchester Derby, Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City side have stretched their lead at the top of the Premier League to an unprecedented 788 points. Defying the fact such an achievement is mathematically impossible, Guardiola’s men outclassed their city rivals after securing the transfer of Romelu Lukaku seconds before kick off…. Read more »

Mafia Distance Themselves From Comparisons To FIFA

THE MAFIA has been quick to distance themselves from comparisons to football’s governing body FIFA after it emerged two witnesses in a corruption case against former FIFA executives have turned up dead in recent days, WWN confirm. “Hey now, don’t drag our names into this, you’re making us look bad,” confirmed mafia spokesmademan Tony Palatino,… Read more »

Ireland Officially Gives Up Football

AFTER a dismal display at tonight’s World Cup qualifier in the Aviva stadium, the entire nation of Ireland has decided to call it a day and announce its retirement from international football, declaring its intention to ‘finally get its shit together and get on with its life’. Binning hundreds of thousands worth of merchandise, ranging… Read more »

WWN Previews Ireland V Denmark: The Sequel!

IRELAND have one foot in the World Cup after securing a thrilling edge of the seat 0-0 draw with a Denmark team that refused the free-flowing football Ireland is becoming synonymous with. Critics have confirmed there is every hope Ireland v Denmark at the Aviva can be the Godfather Part II of World Cup playoffs,… Read more »

WWN Previews The First Leg Of Ireland V Denmark

THE FIRST LEG of Ireland’s triumphant victory against Denmark is but a few hours away, and WWN’s sports experts are on hand to weigh up the opposition and assess the Irish squad preparedness. Dangerman: Christian Eriksen, Spurs metronomic midfield maestro is head and shoulders above every Irish player currently playing football, but thanks to Eamon… Read more »

It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)

WWN has all the latest from the action at the World Cup in Brazil. Brazilian born Portuguese player Pepe finally admitted to being a sleeper agent for his homeland after his idiotic sending off against Germany yesterday. Brazilian coaching staff activated a switch in Pepe’s brain, which saw him become detached from reality and act… Read more »

It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)

WWN brings you all the latest on the action from Brazil. Switzerland scored two goals in their match against Ecuador with the final score standing at 2-1. Due to Switzerland’s neutral status the nation’s parliament had to put in place emergency legislation which allowed their team to attack. Despite scoring a wonder-goal last night some… Read more »

It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)

Stick with WWN for all you need to know about this year’s World Cup. The BBC received thousands of complaints last night for their coverage of the highly anticipated England/Italy game. Their analysis took a sinister turn when Alan Shearer pinned Thierry Henry down to the ground while Gary Lineker held a gun to the… Read more »