Tag: football

Ireland Officially Gives Up Football

AFTER a dismal display at tonight’s World Cup qualifier in the Aviva stadium, the entire nation of Ireland has decided to call it a day and announce its retirement from international football, declaring its intention to ‘finally get its shit together and get on with its life’. Binning hundreds of thousands worth of merchandise, ranging… Read more »

WWN Previews Ireland V Denmark: The Sequel!

IRELAND have one foot in the World Cup after securing a thrilling edge of the seat 0-0 draw with a Denmark team that refused the free-flowing football Ireland is becoming synonymous with. Critics have confirmed there is every hope Ireland v Denmark at the Aviva can be the Godfather Part II of World Cup playoffs,… Read more »

WWN Previews The First Leg Of Ireland V Denmark

THE FIRST LEG of Ireland’s triumphant victory against Denmark is but a few hours away, and WWN’s sports experts are on hand to weigh up the opposition and assess the Irish squad preparedness. Dangerman: Christian Eriksen, Spurs metronomic midfield maestro is head and shoulders above every Irish player currently playing football, but thanks to Eamon… Read more »

It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)

WWN has all the latest from the action at the World Cup in Brazil. Brazilian born Portuguese player Pepe finally admitted to being a sleeper agent for his homeland after his idiotic sending off against Germany yesterday. Brazilian coaching staff activated a switch in Pepe’s brain, which saw him become detached from reality and act… Read more »

It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)

WWN brings you all the latest on the action from Brazil. Switzerland scored two goals in their match against Ecuador with the final score standing at 2-1. Due to Switzerland’s neutral status the nation’s parliament had to put in place emergency legislation which allowed their team to attack. Despite scoring a wonder-goal last night some… Read more »

It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)

Stick with WWN for all you need to know about this year’s World Cup. The BBC received thousands of complaints last night for their coverage of the highly anticipated England/Italy game. Their analysis took a sinister turn when Alan Shearer pinned Thierry Henry down to the ground while Gary Lineker held a gun to the… Read more »

Ronaldo Doubtful For World Cup With Bruised Ego

With the opening match of the World Cup just a week away fresh doubt has been cast over the participation of one of football’s best players, Cristiano Ronaldo. Sources in the Portuguese camp claim he suffered an injured ego in the aftermath of Real Madrid’s champion’s league triumph against rivals Atletico Madrid. Rumours have been… Read more »

Man Utd Sign Fabregas In Man Utd Fan’s Head

Gary Farrell, a lifelong Manchester United fan took affirmative action last night and signed Spanish international Cesc Fabregas while simultaneously drooling on his pillow while muttering ‘come, lie beside me Cesc. Now, through ball me’. While the news that transfer signings made by fans as they dream are not transferable to real life has proved… Read more »