Tag: football

Local Football Fan Still Doesn’t Rate Man City

DESPITE Man United’s 1-0 loss to West Brom securing the 2018 Premier League for Manchester City, one local football fan remains adamant they are nothing more than a rag tag bunch of untalented semi-professional footballers who got very lucky. Ciaran Ballane (22) explained to friends and football forums that it takes more than winning a… Read more »

Hungover Local Striker Suprised As Anyone He Scored A Hattrick

LIAM GROTTY, striker for local Waterford sunday league team Rovers Celtic United, admitted to being as surprised as anyone that necking an unconfirmed number of pints Saturday night had no negative effect on his performance against Dunmore Celtic. The striker, described privately by teammates as ‘piss poor’, bagged himself a hattrick but admits to being… Read more »

‘Don’t Approach Any Liverpool Fans Today’ Warning Issued

“LEAVE ALL WhatsApp groups containing Liverpool fans. Block every Liverpool fan on your contact list. Arrive at work wearing sound proof earmuffs. Do not make eye contact with coworkers wearing full kits to work. We repeat do not approach Liverpool fans.” Blaring from hidden speaker systems in communities up and down Britain and throughout Europe,… Read more »

Ronaldo Survives Horror Fall

THOUGHTS and prayers were sent in the direction of Real Madrid striker Christiano Ronaldo, amid fears that he may be ‘shatered to pieces’ after his reckless overhead goal against Juventus in the Champions League last night. Portuguese superstar Ronaldo is known to suffer from a rare brittle-limb condition which has lead to hundreds of instances… Read more »