Tag: featured

Berlusconi Stands Down After Being Offered Virgin Island Retirement Home

ITALIAN Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi announced his decision today to stand down from leadership after striking a ‘Virgin Island Retirement home’ deal with parliament. The 75-year-old will be flown to the Caribbean early next week where he will live out the rest of his days in the height of luxury. Berlusconi told the countries president, Giorgio Napolitano, on… Read more »

Sky Report Unexplained Surge In World News Stories In Wake Of Michael Jackson Trial

WORLD news events surged today to record the biggest one-day gain in stories since the beginning of the Michael Jackson murder trial in September this year. Journalists for the broadcaster have reported huge volumes in daily events from around the globe and have requested a continuous news report to replace the 5-hour murder-trial timeslot. News stories… Read more »

Cowen’s Dáil Bar Tab Was Paid Just Hours Before €3.6bn ‘Accounting Error’ Was Announced

EX-TAOISEACH Brian Cowen is reported to have paid an ‘undisclosed’ sum towards his Dail bar tab just hours before the announcement of a €3.6bn ‘accounting error’ yesterday, leading to speculation on the actual source of the countries new found windfall. Mid-ranking officials in the Department of Finance reported the discrepancy yesterday morning, stating it was an in-house mistake… Read more »

Confused Irish Citizen Votes ‘No’ To Presidency

A VERY confused Irish citizen has voted ‘No’ in this years Presidential election today. Terry Power (32) left the polling station early this morning after he was asked to vote on two referendums and one presidential election, all in one day. “I don’t know ta fuck! I just voted ‘No’ to everything.” said the part… Read more »

Euro Crisis Over After Central Bank Employee Spills Coffee On Main Computer, Erasing Billions In Debt

          EUROPEAN countries rejoiced today after an 18-month sovereign debt crisis was brought to an end when a central bank employee accidentally spilled a skinny caramel Machiatto on the ECB’s main computer, erasing billions of euros in world dept. IT worker Nathaniel King said he was performing checks on the computers mouse lead when he… Read more »

Millions Turn Out To Sign Books Of Condolence For Muammar Gaddafi

MILLIONS of people around the world signed books of condolences for the late Muammar Gaddafi today. Over 40 million people have already expressed their sympathies since the 69 year old lost his battle to revolution yesterday afternoon. A book of condolence was opened last night at the Libyan embassey in Dublin and people queued throughout… Read more »