Tag: featured

‘Mandatory German For Both Junior And Leaving Cert Exams’, Says Quinn

THE Minister for education and skills, Ruairi Quinn, has announced at a press conference today that the German language will become mandatory for both Junior and leaving certificates from next year. Mr. Quinn unveiled the €2bn programme – part funded by the EU – at the Shelbourne hotel earlier this morning. The ‘Bildung Macht Frei’ or ‘Education will make… Read more »

Taxi Driver Forgets To Complain About Government To Passenger

IT should have been his time to shine, but unfortunately for taxi driver Alan Williams, forgetting to complain about the government to a passenger was one mistake he will never forgive himself for. The 56-year-old Larchville man recoiled in horror as he explained the extraordinary turn of events leading up to the fare. “I was reading the Sun newspaper, like… Read more »

Sett Blatter: ‘There Is No Racism In Ireland.’

FIFA President Sett Batter told Waterford Whispers News today that ‘there is no racism in Ireland and Mr. Scully should just shake hands with members of the black community’. The 75-year-old was flown into Dublin airport this morning on a government jet before being whisked off to Naas in a cavalcade of totally awesome cars… Read more »

lluminati Break Up Over Creative Differences

THE members of a society called the lluminati shocked conspiracy theorists and the Internet world yesterday by announcing that they are splitting up after 240 years at the top. The group, one of the world’s most secret, was formed in Ingolstadt, upper Bavaria, in 1776 and went on to control the world by manipulating the minds of 7 billion… Read more »

‘We Only Cycle To Annoy Other Road Users’ Admits Cyclist

A COUNTY Waterford cyclist has admitted today that the only reason he travels from A to B is to annoy other road users. Michael Power explained that the majority of cyclists across the country have been conspiring against motorists for years. When asked why he does it he replied: “It’s fun I suppose. I just love cycling… Read more »

Waterford Tourism Board Launches €2 Drinks Brochure In Desperate Bid To Attract Visitors To The City

WATERFORD tourism board have launched a brand new €2 drinks brochure and guide book today in a desperate bid to attract visitors to the city. The leaflets high quality print and design was praised by Mayor Pat Hayes who attended the launch in the new civic offices with several other city and county councillors this morning. Mayor Hayes said the new… Read more »