Tag: europe

“You Up?” Britain Drunk Texts The EU At 2am

SHORTLY after voting to extend the March 29th deadline for leaving the EU and cracking open a bottle of wine, Britain has texted the EU ‘you up?’ at 2am, WWN can reveal. While the EU had declared its New Years resolution was to cut toxic people from its life and never again let people who… Read more »

Britain Shits In Hands & Claps

SOURCES close to the formerly Great Britain have intimated this may be the 17th time this week that the unhinged state has shat in its hands before willfully clapping as if in celebration only to spread excrement everywhere in the process. Those with knowledge on the repeated shitting in own hands and then applauding enthusiastically… Read more »

Brexit: What If It Works?

UNCERTAINTY still haunts the UK’s impending exit from the EU, with fears that a no-deal Brexit will cause unending economic misery to not just the population of Great Britain, but also to the greater Eurozone as shockwaves rupture through the markets. But one political expert has envisioned an even worse fate than a no-deal exit; the… Read more »

Press This Button To Cancel Brexit

Action loading. Connecting to European Commission servers. Loading. Processing. Loading. Complete. CONGRATULATIONS Theresa! 🎉🎉🎉 You’ve done it, you have successfully cancelled Brexit! What relief you must be feeling. Don’t worry that sensation coursing through your body is called adrenaline, and that thing expanding out across your face where scowl used to be is called a… Read more »

British Government Continuing To Take The Piss Over Irish Border: Report

A WIDE RANGING report, analysing thousands of news articles, radio bulletins, TV news reports, government statements, committee hearings and many other sources of information has conclusively concluded that the British government continues to ‘take the absolute fucking piss when it comes to the Irish border’, WWN has learned. “The evidence speaks for itself,” explained Max… Read more »

EU To Officially Disband After Merkel Steps Down

THE EUROPEAN UNION will officially disband once Angela Merkel formally steps down as German Chancellor in 2021, WWN can exclusively reveal. “It’s like Take That after Robbie left or when Zayn left One Direction, we can’t go on, we’ll just be a shit cover band really,” French PM Emmanuel Macron shared with WWN, clearly upset… Read more »