Tag: epl

Sanchez Goes On Strike During First Day At United

MANCHESTER UNITED’S new star forward Alexis Sanchez has gone on strike hours after securing his dream bank balance, WWN Sport can exclusively report. While United’s most vocal detractors questioned how wise it was to hand a 29-year-old player seemingly motivated solely by money a four-year contract reportedly worth £500,000 per week after tax, they expressed… Read more »

Man City Stretch League Lead To 788 Points

FOLLOWING their 2-1 victory in the Manchester Derby, Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City side have stretched their lead at the top of the Premier League to an unprecedented 788 points. Defying the fact such an achievement is mathematically impossible, Guardiola’s men outclassed their city rivals after securing the transfer of Romelu Lukaku seconds before kick off…. Read more »

Man Utd Sign Fabregas In Man Utd Fan’s Head

Gary Farrell, a lifelong Manchester United fan took affirmative action last night and signed Spanish international Cesc Fabregas while simultaneously drooling on his pillow while muttering ‘come, lie beside me Cesc. Now, through ball me’. While the news that transfer signings made by fans as they dream are not transferable to real life has proved… Read more »