Tag: education

God Banned From Hanging Around Schools

A HIGH Court ruling has implemented a ban on the creator of the universe, God, after a series of public complaints claimed the 4.5 billion-year-old was loitering around the majority of schools in the country. In the ruling this morning, Judge Peter Kelly ordered the Almighty to stay at least 1,000 meters away from all primary and… Read more »

School Career Guidance Teachers Asked What They Do Exactly

SCRAMBLING to justify their existence, career guidance teachers throughout the country have responded to questions about the level of work that goes into their job by asking ‘what’s something you’d really like to do?’ in a softly spoken and engaging voice. “Look, I get it, we’re an easy target but we’re with students every step… Read more »

‘Mandatory German For Both Junior And Leaving Cert Exams’, Says Quinn

THE Minister for education and skills, Ruairi Quinn, has announced at a press conference today that the German language will become mandatory for both Junior and leaving certificates from next year. Mr. Quinn unveiled the €2bn programme – part funded by the EU – at the Shelbourne hotel earlier this morning. The ‘Bildung Macht Frei’ or ‘Education will make… Read more »