Tag: britain

The Fucking Brits Are Really Going To Do It

DESPITE all available facts which should act as a deterrent, the fucking Brits are really entering into the finals stages of creating such a morally bankrupt society that Boris Johnson can waltz into the position of prime minister. Johnson, who has dedicated his life to only providing proof of his insidious ineptitude, finds himself topping… Read more »

Ranking The Tory Leadership Candidates

IN A CROWDED field of would-be prime ministers, the candidates for the leadership of the Conservative party are struggling to get their message across to Conservative members and the wider public. Gain a better understanding of those running for Tory leader with our essential guide, in which we definitively rank the candidates: Boris Johnson His… Read more »

Theresa May Asks Tory Party For Resignation Extension

TODAY was supposed to mark the day Theresa May resigned her position as leader of the Tory Party, thus sparking off a leadership race but now, despite giving ample notice, May has dramatically requested a last minute extension after she realising she hasn’t got her shit together. “I know I chose the departure date but,”… Read more »

“Disorder, Disorder”

SCREAMING the word over and over again for what must be three years, House of Commons speaker John Bercow begged British MPs to stop acting like mentally deficient bacteria and band together to form one coherent sentence the people they represent could understand. “Disorder! Disorder!” cried Bercow, now with a broom in his hands, prodding… Read more »

“14 Dead Bodies Insufficient Evidence,” Confirm British Government

AFTER learning that Northern Ireland’s Public Prosecution Service will prosecute just one of 16 British soldiers for their involvement in ‘Bloody Sunday’ in Derry in 1972, the British government has concurred with the PPS that the bodies of 14 civilians amounted to nothing more than insufficient evidence. ‘Soldier F’ will now face trial in connection… Read more »