Category: WORLD NEWS

Leave Beating American Citizens To Us, Warns US Police Chief

A NEW York police chief warned Israeli authorities today after a US-Palestinian teenager was filmed ‘being beaten’ in a house arrest. Tariq Abu Khdeir, a 15-year-old American citizen from Florida, was detained by Israeli authorities in Jerusalem following violent protests over the killing of the 16-year-old Mohammed Abu Khdeir, the cousin of Tariq. “Beating American citizens is our… Read more »

America To Restrict Freedom Day Before Celebration Of Freedom

In the 24 hours leading up to America’s Fourth Of July celebrations, a number of freedom reducing, freedom enhancement measures will be taken in the country’s airports. Citing credible terrorist threats, US Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson admitted security would be tightened ahead of America’s Independence Day celebrations in order to protect US freedoms. “We… Read more »

Cavan Man Heads To UK In Response To Sperm Shortage

FOLLOWING the publishing of new statistics which suggest the UK is suffering from a shortage of sperm donors, Cavan native Eoghan Hand has volunteered to emigrate to London to make up for the shortfall. The report from the British Fertility Society highlighted a drop in sperm donors since the 2005 abolition of the right to anonymity… Read more »

God Was ‘Unaware’ Of Church Sex Abuse Scandals, Claims Vatican

THE VATICAN last night dismissed suggestions that the God our father had any knowledge of sexual abuse scandals committed by 4,392 Catholic priests over the past 60 years. A spokesperson for the Vatican denied that God, 84tn-years-old, knew about the ongoing molestations prior to the first reported case twenty five years ago. The supernatural creator… Read more »