Category: WORLD NEWS

Mars To Sue Moon For Copyright Infringement

LEGAL proceedings have been brought against Earth’s only natural satellite, the moon, which is at the centre of accusations of copyright infringement made by the red planet, Mars. “Our clients believe the moon intentionally turned various shades of colours most closely associated with their brand early this morning, including red, orange and orangey-red in an… Read more »

Muslim Man Gives Mecca 2 Stars On Trip Advisor

THE obligatory once-in-a-lifetime trip to Mecca, the Saudi Arabian birthplace of Muhammed and holiest city in the Islamic faith, has failed to impress one Muslim lad who gave the trip only two stars on holiday review website TripAdvisor. Citing poor accommodation, overpriced restaurants and overcrowding as the main issues he had with his trip, Aamir… Read more »

Swiss Authorities Arrest Blatter After Disguising Themselves As Pile Of Cash In Sting Operation

SWISS authorities are believed to be celebrating this evening after finally getting their man, outgoing FIFA president Sepp Blatter after the success of an unprecedented sting operation. Jupp Hitz, an experienced member of the Zurich police force is believed to have disguised himself as a massive pile of cash, carefully placing himself in the foyer… Read more »

ISIS May Be Hiding Under Your Bed, Warns Expert

A SYRIAN expert on the Islamic State has warned EU citizens today to check for jihadis underneath their beds at night, as they are prone to hiding there. Fadi Abo Alteeb, who has been studying the group’s movements and tactics over the last five years, said as many as 1 in 10 Syrian refugees entering… Read more »

Australia Takes One Step Closer To 20th Century

WITH the news that Australia has its fifth change of prime minister in 8 years, comes further evidence that it may be closer than ever to entering the rarefied air of the 20th century. Like many leading Western nations in 2015, Australia has struggled to enter the 20th century, let alone the 21st century due… Read more »

Sky News Hire Hungarian Camerawoman Petra Laszlo

A HUNGARIAN camera woman who was fired for deliberately tripping up a Syrian refugee carrying a child as they ran away from police near the Serbian border has been hired by Sky News today for her efforts. Petra Laszlo, working for local TV station N1TV, which is run by the anti-immigration far-right Jobbik party, was caught… Read more »

‘Germany Thinks It’s Fucking Great Or Something’ – Hungarian PM

“Germany thinks it’s fucking great or something welcoming thousands of refugees on trains into its country and embarrassing the rest of us,” Hungarian Prime Minster Viktor Orban said today. His comments follow a German government announcement that it will spend an extra €6bn (£4.4bn) to cope with the record influx of Syrian refugees this year. “It wouldn’t be the first time in… Read more »