Category: WORLD NEWS

Trump Throws JFK Files From Balcony To Awaiting Media

A RABID herd of journalists called out to President Donald Trump as he dangled bulky folders containing the unreleased files relating to President John F. Kennedy’s assassination, WWN can confirm. Loose pages danced in the air as they were caught by the wind, prompting a rush of movement from journalists which led to several members… Read more »

Trump Declares [Insert Horrible Shit Here]

US PRESIDENT Donald Trump has angered [minority] groups across America today, after announcing [fundamentally unsound and outright counterproductive policy which flies in the face of reason and common sense] today. Trump issued the statement via a number of tweets today, which stated that [140-character stream of conciosusness containing questionable grammar and petty, snide remarks taking potshots… Read more »

Having A Full Tattoo Sleeve To Be Mandatory By 2022

CITING the continued trend towards covering every inch of one’s arms in ink, a government decree has lead to the phasing out of non-inked arms by 2022, in a bid to cut the disconcerting practice of not having 100 tattoos. A clear and undeniable statement of one’s individuality and unique character; bare arms have increasingly… Read more »