Category: WORLD NEWS

“Sorry” McGregor Apologises To Fans For Marching With Varadkar

PART-TIME UFC fighter Conor McGregor has apologised today for marching side-by-side with Irish leader Leo Varadkar, stating he was “unaware” the Taoiseach was going to be attending the Chicago St. Patrick’s Day parade and that he is “truly embarrassed” by the whole fiasco. With the Irish Embassy in Chicago seeking answers as to how the world champion fighter was… Read more »

Everything You Need To Know About Beto O’Rourke

THE TEXAS democrat narrowly lost to Ted Cruz in a race for the US Senate and has now announced his bid to secure the Democratic nomination for the 2020 presidential election. A father-of-three with a penchant for delivering uplifting and impassioned speeches drawing comparisons to Barack Obama, here’s everything you need to know about Beto… Read more »

Local Kids Won’t Shut Up About The Environment

ONE LOCAL Waterford father has put on record his annoyance at his children’s insistence that they be allowed partake in worldwide Climate Change protests, WWN can reveal. “Little pushy shits never shut up about the fucking environment,” confirmed John Legerty, who hasn’t been allowed put anything in a bin for years now without being asked… Read more »

“Fuck Terrorism” Confirms Everyone

AS THE DEPRESSINGLY familiar scenes from the latest attack on innocent civilians etched itself into the minds of people, joining other incidents and memories sadly too easy to recall, every right minded person concluded that terrorism ‘can get fucked’. “Yeah, fuck terrorism,” everyone confirmed, with a conviction and defiance that suggested their capacity to remain… Read more »

The World’s Oldest People Keep Dying And No One Knows Why

WITH the official oldest person in the world being announced this week as 116-year-old Japanese woman Kane Tanaka, WWN investigates one of the most cursed Guinness records to date, which has so far taken every single person who has held the prestigious title. Investigating the records of all the oldest people in the world, we start with the very oldest recorded… Read more »

Britain Shits In Hands & Claps

SOURCES close to the formerly Great Britain have intimated this may be the 17th time this week that the unhinged state has shat in its hands before willfully clapping as if in celebration only to spread excrement everywhere in the process. Those with knowledge on the repeated shitting in own hands and then applauding enthusiastically… Read more »