IN A complete turnaround from previous encounters, CIA director Mike Pompeo somehow forged a “good relationship” with Kim Jong-un following a secret visit and a chat, WWN can confirm. Pompeo met the North Korean leader earlier this month to discuss possible direct talks between himself and Donald Trump over ongoing missile testing which defied international law…. Read more »
ADULT superstar Stormy Daniels is reportedly continuing to pick up strength as she travels through the upper levels of the American political system, with fears growing among the Trump administration that she may shortly be upgraded to Hurricaney Daniels. Originally classified as Stormy in 2006 when she allegedly had a torrid affair with Donald Trump… Read more »
WELL, you’ve gone and done it now. From highly-publicised allegations of sexual impropriety to near-fatal drink-driving crashes, celebrities and well-known people need to be ready to drop a heartfelt apology as quickly as possible, to let the public know that they really, really just want everyone to forget about whatever horrible shit they’ve just done…. Read more »
DUE TO an increasing number of unregulated trials by social media over the past decade, which has seen millions of people convicted for crimes they may or may not have committed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced the launch of a brand new feature on the world’s biggest platform, Facebook Courts. Much like a group page, Facebook… Read more »
“GOTCHA” laughed Theresa May, at a special press conference today where the entire ‘Brexit’ project was revealed to be a piece of performance art, causing the entire UK to breathe a sigh of relief so great that it shifted the whole country a foot to the left. May, who has spent her entire tenure as… Read more »
AS the Kardashian corporation welcomes a new member into the fold today with the birth of Khloe’s first baby, the lesser-known older sister of the family has finally spoken out about her thoughts on the dynasty from her custom-build attic room in Kris Jenner’s LA home. Born in 1977, Gertrude Kardashian was the first child… Read more »
ADULT film star Stormy Daniels has been reportedly killed last night in a US led airstrike in Syria, WWN can confirm. The controversial porn actress had apparently travelled to the middle eastern country on Thursday in what friends and family members are saying was an unusual move by the dead 39-year-old. “We have no idea… Read more »
US PRESIDENT Donald Trump has had to retract his angry statements about an ongoing FBI witch hunt, after a task force from the bureau managed to rescue a number of kidnapped children from certain death at the hands of a gaggle of witches who were on the verge of boiling them in a giant pot…. Read more »
“I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on,” voiced embarrassed commanding officer of the USS Donald Cook, Matt Caldwell, while rolling his eyes and slapping his forehead in disbelief, “what are the chances?” Arriving in the Mediterranean Sea yesterday afternoon, the Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer departed Larnaca, Cyprus, before making a U-turn after United States Navy… Read more »
FACEBOOK Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is currently suffering from repetitive strain injury in his wrist, caused by having to ceaselessly click away ads for suits, barber shops, toothpaste and anxiety pills that have cluttered up his newsfeed since his congressional hearing this week. Zuckerberg was brought in front of congress amid the fallout of the Cambridge… Read more »