PRESIDENT of the free world Donald Trump has defied medical experts by making a miraculous recovery from the bone spurs that cruelly robbed him of the chance to fight for his country in Vietnam over fifty years ago. Arriving in Hanoi ahead of his historic meeting with North Korean premier Kim Jong Un, Trump took… Read more »
WITH the EU-Arab Summit welcoming delegates and leaders from 24 European countries to Egypt this week, President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi has asked all state agencies involved in the detainment and execution of political prisoners to ‘tone it down a wee bit’ over the next week. The statement comes following the mass execution of 9 suspects found guilty of… Read more »
THE Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California, was cordoned off this morning while investigators acting on a warrant began exhuming American singer, performer and songwriter Michael Jackson for questioning over alleged child abuse allegations. The King of Pop is expected to be questioned after a new documentary by British filmmaker Dan Reed focuses on two men who claim they were sexually abused… Read more »
ISIS is disappearing. With as few as 1,500 fighters left in the world, this terrorist organisation could soon disappear for good. But with your help, we can save Islamic State. In the mountains and towns of Syria and Iraq, ISIS once majestically roamed. These fearsome fighters proudly massacred, kidnapped or enslaved thousands of civilians and soldiers…. Read more »
IN WHAT was to be a triumphant achievement for Israeli space exploration, the nation’s privately funded moon mission was quickly brought to a halt this morning after the rocket was shot down shortly after take off, WWN can confirm. The non-profit SpaceIL spacecraft launched from Florida’s Cape Canaveral this morning in a bid to become the fourth country to make a soft landing… Read more »
APOLOGISING profusely for the mix up, the Catholic Church was forced to turn thousands of sheepish paedophiles away from the entrance of the Vatican after they arrived to attend a Vatican sex abuse conference. “In hindsight, we see why they bought tickets,” Vatican spokesperson Father Gio Padre said while gently chuckling, “if I was a… Read more »
RESPONDING to the news 8 Labours MPs and 3 Tory MPs have quit their parties to form the Independent Group adding to the already considerable chaos, exhausted Britons have thrown their hands up in the air and quit British politics. “I didn’t know we could quit. Brilliant,” confirmed one Briton who was flummoxed by the… Read more »
WWN FASHION has joined our industry brothers and sisters in mourning this week following the death of Karl Lagerfeld, who is currently laid out in a shroud that does nothing for his profile if we’re being perfectly honest. Karl, probably the best Lagerfeld in the world, passed away this week after 60 years in the fashion industry,… Read more »
THE Vermont Senator has officially thrown his hat in the ring for the 2020 US Presidential Election. Having galvanised large sections of the Democratic party during his run for the 2016 nomination against Hillary Clinton before falling short, Bernie Sanders is about as big a name in US politics you can get but what do… Read more »
HE’S at it again! Galilean playboy Jesus Christ has been spotted on the town again in the company of his hard-living entourage, kicking back with a rag-tag bunch of lepers, blind people, previously-dead men and of course, prostitutes; in fact, the ‘miracle man’ ended the night with some steamy foot-washing action with one lucky lady. The… Read more »