Category: WORLD NEWS

“Have Some Red iPhones, You Gullible Fools”

AN ASTOUNDING innovation at Apple has led to the company’s CEO announcing that he is proud to offer consumers a revolutionary new product that appeals to your desire to have a visual representation of how charitable and giving you are, WWN can confirm. “Have some red iPhones for the affordable price of whatever we’re saying… Read more »

David Rockefeller Fakes His Own Death

THE mainstream media (MSM) have today reported that former Chase Manhattan Chief Executive David Rockefeller has died at the age of 101, but we’re having none of it, WWN can confirm. This latest attempt at distracting the masses has been reported by every major news publication on the planet, most of which, may we add,… Read more »

“I’ve Gone Virus!”

AN UNDERSTANDBLY delighted Taoiseach returned to Ireland from his trip to the US last week, declaring to the cabinet, opposition parties and the Irish public that he has gone virus, WWN can reveal. At an emergency meeting of the cabinet, called for purposes of a piss up, a visibly moved Enda Kenny explained how a… Read more »

Disgusting! Pope Francis Still Hasn’t Watched The Wire & Is Failing Abuse Victims

IT’S not often that a piece of information comes across our desk that is so disturbing that we feel so outraged, upset and disgusted to the extent that we simply vomit for hours after reading it. However, today we learned something so heinous that it would turn anyone toward becoming violent almost instantaneously. Everybody’s favourite… Read more »

Sequel To Scottish Independence Referendum May Struggle To Recapture Magic Of Original, Critics Warn

THE MAJORITY OF critics have reacted negatively to the news that Nicola Sturgeon has ordered a sequel to the entertaining Scottish Independence Referendum of September 2014. “The drama, the hope, that plot twist and Christ, that depressing ending, the first referendum had everything. How are they going to match that this second time around?” queried… Read more »