Category: WORLD NEWS

The World’s Oldest People Keep Dying And No One Knows Why

WITH the official oldest person in the world being announced this week as 116-year-old Japanese woman Kane Tanaka, WWN investigates one of the most cursed Guinness records to date, which has so far taken every single person who has held the prestigious title. Investigating the records of all the oldest people in the world, we start with the very oldest recorded… Read more »

Britain Shits In Hands & Claps

SOURCES close to the formerly Great Britain have intimated this may be the 17th time this week that the unhinged state has shat in its hands before willfully clapping as if in celebration only to spread excrement everywhere in the process. Those with knowledge on the repeated shitting in own hands and then applauding enthusiastically… Read more »

Netflix Documentaries Now Admissible In Court

A NEW ruling allowing Netflix documentaries to be admissible in court as evidence has been passed in both the EU and US legal systems, which could see dozens of cold cases face a retrial, WWN can confirm. Docuseries like Making A Murderer, The Staircase, Evil Genius and Amanda Knox will now be deemed as evidence and are… Read more »

Trump Suffering From Crippling Vietnam Flashbacks

DISPLAYING all the hallmarks of someone who has been through a horribly traumatic ordeal that will leave a lasting mark on their psyche, President Trump continues to suffer from debilitating Vietnam flashbacks. The intense and viscerally vibrant recollections of his tour of presidential duty first came on once he had boarded Air Force One, after… Read more »

Fate Of World Hangs On Trump-Kim Pie Eating Contest

THE meeting between US President Donald Trump and North Korean premier Kim Jong-Un has gone about as well as could be expected, with the pair now engaged in a raspberry pie eat-off to determine the outcome of key nuclear disarmament issues that plague the very fate of humanity. Delegates in Vietnam had feared that the… Read more »

Jeremy Corbyn Wakes From 2-Year Coma

BRITAIN is still experiencing the aftershocks of a political earthquake following Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn’s sudden awakening from a coma which saw him lie stationary in bed, unable to function or direct the Labour party, and trapped in a braindead-like state for roughly 2 years. Bolting upright Corbyn took in a deep breath as if… Read more »