Category: WORLD NEWS

Shell Unveils World’s First Animal Friendly Oil Spill

ENVIRONMENTALISTS the world over can breathe of a collective sigh of relief with the news that Shell have become the first oil company in the world to commit to making all future oil spills ‘animal friendly’. With oil spills historically causing devastation to the flora and fauna in the areas they occur, environmentally minded organisations… Read more »

Basque Separatists Demand End To Bras

A BREAKAWAY group of lingerie radicals have issued a new call for the banning of bras, threatening to increase their guerrilla campaign if their demands for the basque top be made the undergarment of choice are not met. The basque separatists issued the statement via social media earlier today, where it immediately triggered Facebook’s automatic… Read more »

All Future Wars To Be Carried Out In Syria

SOME of the world’s leading organisations, including NATO and the UN, have today agreed to proxy all future wars through the middle eastern state of Syria, paving the way for countries to finalise their disagreements with minimal collateral damage in their own territories. The new ruling will allow warring nations to set up 20 military bases each across the Syrian state, with the… Read more »

Bespectacled Posh Fanny Looking Twat Opens Mouth Again

PROFESSIONAL posh twat Jacob Rees Mogg has opened his mouth again, WWN can confirm, with the action subsequently resulting in words and sentences, which made no sense, exiting his poxy mouth and out into the public domain. Thanks to his upper class upbringing, Mogg, known is an insufferable prat, is apparently entitled to ignore historical… Read more »

God Banned From Hanging Around Schools

A HIGH Court ruling has implemented a ban on the creator of the universe, God, after a series of public complaints claimed the 4.5 billion-year-old was loitering around the majority of schools in the country. In the ruling this morning, Judge Peter Kelly ordered the Almighty to stay at least 1,000 meters away from all primary and… Read more »

Netanyahu Going To Bomb Someone If It Kills Him

IRASCIBLE Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu is itchin’ to do some bombin’ according to sources, with reports coming in that if he doesn’t bomb Iran soon, he’ll ‘do the fucking bop altogether’. Keeping a low profile after international condemnation for an assault on Palestinian protestors last month, the Israeli premier turned his attention to Iran with… Read more »