Category: WORLD NEWS

4-Year-Old’s Mining Cobalt For Smart Phones Doing A Great Job In Fairness

CONSUMERS of smartphone technologies like the Apple iPhone and Samsung Galaxy have today officially praised young children in the Democratic Republic of the Congo for mining cobalt for their device’s lithium-ion batteries. The sudden appreciation for the young workers comes after a report by Sky News this week, which echoes a previous report by Amnesty International last… Read more »

Trump To Cut US Debt By Spending $54bn Extra On Military

PRESIDENT DONALD Trump’s relentless desire to reduce America’s debt has received a huge boost as he outlined plans to increase spending on the world’s biggest military by $54 billion. In an address that precedes his first formal speech before congress, President Trump took credit for all positive things currently happening in America, including the laughter… Read more »

‘Blessed Are The Church Goers, For They Shall Park Illegally’, Cites Lost Gospel

RESEARCHERS have confirmed that parishioners attending mass should be allowed park wherever they please, according to a startling new interpretation of a 6th-century Syriac manuscript from a monastery in Egypt. The lost gospel, which was acquired by the Egyptian library 160 years ago, is being currently deciphered by a team of linguistic researchers, who agree the latest translation… Read more »

“Bollocks, They Found Us”: NASA Receive First Audio From New Planets

RADIO signals emerging from the newly-discovered ‘TRAPPIST-1’ planetary system have been decoded by linguistic experts at NASA, confirming the existence of extraterrestrial lifeforms who want ‘no part of Earth’s bullshit’. There was great excitement from astronomy enthusiasts earlier this week following the discovery of seven planets in the ‘habitable’ zone of a nearby solar system;… Read more »