Category: WORLD NEWS

Stormy Daniels Upgraded To Hurricaney Daniels

ADULT superstar Stormy Daniels is reportedly continuing to pick up strength as she travels through the upper levels of the American political system, with fears growing among the Trump administration that she may shortly be upgraded to Hurricaney Daniels. Originally classified as Stormy in 2006 when she allegedly had a torrid affair with Donald Trump… Read more »

WWN Guide To Being Really, Really Sorry

WELL, you’ve gone and done it now. From highly-publicised allegations of sexual impropriety to near-fatal drink-driving crashes, celebrities and well-known people need to be ready to drop a heartfelt apology as quickly as possible, to let the public know that they really, really just want everyone to forget about whatever horrible shit they’ve just done…. Read more »

Brexit Revealed To Be Performance Art

“GOTCHA” laughed Theresa May, at a special press conference today where the entire ‘Brexit’ project was revealed to be a piece of performance art, causing the entire UK to breathe a sigh of relief so great that it shifted the whole country a foot to the left. May, who has spent her entire tenure as… Read more »

Stormy Daniels Killed In Syrian Airstrike

ADULT film star Stormy Daniels has been reportedly killed last night in a US led airstrike in Syria, WWN can confirm. The controversial porn actress had apparently travelled to the middle eastern country on Thursday in what friends and family members are saying was an unusual move by the dead 39-year-old. “We have no idea… Read more »

USS Donald Cook Turns Back After Forgetting Missiles

“I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on,” voiced embarrassed commanding officer of the USS Donald Cook, Matt Caldwell, while rolling his eyes and slapping his forehead in disbelief, “what are the chances?” Arriving in the Mediterranean Sea yesterday afternoon, the Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer departed Larnaca, Cyprus, before making a U-turn after United States Navy… Read more »

Zuckerberg Bombarded With Facebook Ads For Suits, Haircuts

FACEBOOK Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is currently suffering from repetitive strain injury in his wrist, caused by having to ceaselessly click away ads for suits, barber shops, toothpaste and anxiety pills that have cluttered up his newsfeed since his congressional hearing this week. Zuckerberg was brought in front of congress amid the fallout of the Cambridge… Read more »