Category: WORLD NEWS

Tories Defeat Themselves In Commons Brexit Vote

BRAVELY FENDING off their sworn enemies, the democracy hating Tories have vanquished their sternest foe, democracy hating Tories, by democratically voting to ensure the final Brexit deal between Britain and the EU must be voted on and approved by parliament. After emerging soberly yesterday morning from a night spent with unopened beer cans in a… Read more »

“You’re Fired!” Trump Tells Wildfire Victims

DESPITE pleas from a number of White House advisors, US president Donald Trump has brought his famous catchphrase from The Apprentice back in a tweet aimed at the victims of the wildfires currently engulfing large areas of California. “California… your fired!!” tweeted Trump this morning, before deleting the tweet and re-posting it with the more… Read more »

Evolution: In 20 Million Years Women Will Be Born With Fleece Covering Their Bodies

In twenty million years women will be born with natural fleece blankets covering their bodies. Scientists are convinced that evolution is heading in that direction. “It’s inevitable,” says professor in genetics Steve Jones. “Women with a fleece blanket have more chances of being and comfortable when watching series. This form of natural selection will lead… Read more »

Putin Celebrates Landslide 2018 Presidential Election Victory

CELEBRATIONS have begun among the members of the United Russian political party, following current premier Vladimir Putin’s decision to win next year’s presidential elections by a landslide margin. Putin, who has held the position of either president or prime minister of the Russian Federation for over 17 years, made the announcement yesterday that he would… Read more »

“It Would Only Cost £3bn To Sink Northern Ireland Into The Sea” May Casually Tells Cabinet

THERESA May’s Brexit strategy is said to have taken a new course after being left in disarray yesterday following the dramatic accusation from Taoiseach Leo Varadkar that May reneged on an agreement that would have ended the deadlock in the talks. Under pressure to get an agreement from the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) on the… Read more »

Comedian Refuses To Retire Lazy & Offensive Nigel Farage Character

Considerable public pressure has been placed on the comedian behind the once popular but now sadly outdated Nigel Farage character. The incorrigible escapades of the anti-immigrant xenophobe once popular in bygone era have long been labeled lazy and offensive with TV stations under pressure to cancel all productions which intend on featuring the creation. Dave… Read more »