Category: WORLD NEWS

Zuckerberg Bombarded With Facebook Ads For Suits, Haircuts

FACEBOOK Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is currently suffering from repetitive strain injury in his wrist, caused by having to ceaselessly click away ads for suits, barber shops, toothpaste and anxiety pills that have cluttered up his newsfeed since his congressional hearing this week. Zuckerberg was brought in front of congress amid the fallout of the Cambridge… Read more »

Idiot Whale Dies After Eating 30kg Of Rubbish

A WHALE described by marine experts as being a “complete and utter idiot” was found washed up in Spain with 29kg of plastic debris in its stomach, WWN can confirm. The young male sperm whale is believed to have died from ‘gastric shock’ following an autopsy which found debris, including nets, plastic bags and a Jerry can in the 10 metre-long… Read more »

Where Are They Now? The Brexit Bus

THE BUS slogan that will live in infamy: ‘We send the EU £350 million a week, let’s fund our NHS instead – Vote Leave’. Many commentators maintain that the evocative message emblazoned on the side of the German manufactured Neoplan Skyliner bus swung Britain’s referendum to leave the EU in the favour of the Leave… Read more »

Thousands Of Newsfeeds Affected Following Syrian Chemical Attack

A CHEMICAL attack which continues the incalculable suffering endured by innocent civilians in Syria has tragically interrupted thousands of people’s routine of mindlessly scrolling through their social media feeds, WWN understands. Penetrating newsfeeds with pinpoint precision, the chemical attack in Damascus suburb of Douma, has left thousands affected by the inconvenient realisation that the 7-year… Read more »

Dinosaur Discovered In Scotland Would Have Had Thick Accent, Scientists Confirm

FOOTPRINT evidence on Scotland’s Isle of Skye confirming that dinosaurs roamed there some 170 million years ago has revealed the reptiles would have been very hard to understand, given their thick Scottish accents. “Rapid fire phrases delivered with a mix of smiling geniality and a maddened glare that hinted they intended to do you harm, these dinosaurs… Read more »