Category: WORLD NEWS

Obama Calls For Tougher Kenyan Gun Control Laws

AMERICAN PRESIDENT Barack Obama has called for tougher gun control laws in Kenya this evening after 62 people were killed in a shopping mall in the African country. Mr. Obama condemned the Kenyan government for its lackadaisical approach to automatic weapons, and called on the state to ‘clamp down’ on arms distribution. “It shames me… Read more »

Russia Deny Claims World Championships Look FAB-U-LOUS!

RUSSIAN PREMIER Vladimir Putin has stoutly rejected claims that despite every effort to suppress so-called ‘homosexual propaganda’, the 2014 World Championships have actually turned out to be a flamboyant and excessive display that bares all the hallmarks of being organised by members of the gay community. In an exclusive interview with WWN’s roving reporter and… Read more »

America Vows To Side With Eventual Winner Of Egyptian Conflict

THE LEADER of the Free World’ US President Barack Obama has read words from a carefully drafted statement in response to the reported slaughter of hundreds of Egyptian citizens. Appalled by the images being relayed by international media outlets, President Obama has gone as far as to sit on a meticulously constructed fence which gives… Read more »

Queen: “I Hope It’s Not Another Ginger”

QUEEN ELIZABETH II said today that she hoped the royal baby would not turn out ginger, like its embarrassing uncle Harry, in what has been called one of her outspoken comments to date. The Head of the Commonwealth made the statement in reply to a question from a reporter while on a series of engagements in the Lake… Read more »

‘Snowden Keeps Bumming Fags Off People’, Claim Russian Airport Officials

MOSCOW AIRPORT officials have claimed today that whistle-blower, Edward Snowden, keeps ‘bumming fags’ off people, and it’s starting to become a little bit annoying now. The former National Security Agency employee who exposed the US’ surveillance programmes, is said to be constantly harassing passengers travelling from the terminal area of Russia’s busiest airport. “He’s relentless.” said… Read more »