Category: WORLD NEWS

‘My Only Regret Is Not Featuring In An Internet Viral Video Campaign’, Says Dying Mugabe

ZIMBABWEAN dictator Robert Mugabe told family members and friends last night that his only regret was never featuring in an internet viral video campaign like ‘Kony 2012’. The cancer stricken leader flew to Singapore by private jet on Saturday for treatment, but took a turn for the best and is said to be suffering excruciating pain in his final… Read more »

Queen ‘Fucking Stoked’ About Jubilee

THE Queen of England said she was ‘fucking stoked’ about her upcoming diamond jubilee celebrations, which will take place on the week-end of the 2-5 of June this year in London. The 85-year-old monarch told press today of her excitement when she arrived in King’s Lynn as she marks the 60th anniversary of her accession to… Read more »

Iran ‘Planning’ To Sneak Into Western Homes And Eat Babies While Parents Sleep

AMERICA’S leading intelligence official, James Clapper, warned today that Iran is planning to eat western babies while unsuspecting parents are asleep in their nice, cosy beds. The US director of national intelligence said Iranian special forces, who are hiding all over the world, were plotting to eat random babies in a sick and evil operation code… Read more »

‘Black Actors Still Being Typecast For Black Roles’, Say Anti-Racism Group

AN anti-racism organisation, Anti-Racist Action (ARA), slammed the film industry today, claiming black actors are still being typecast for black film roles in Hollywood. A survey carried out by the ARA has revealed that black actors still feel that their skin colour does not allow them to play other races like Caucasian or Hispanic in movies. Spokesman for… Read more »

New Waterboarding Technique Does Not Work On Dead People, Claim US Troops

THE US government have confirmed today that a new waterboarding technique initiated by troops in Afghanistan has failed in its goal to extract vital information from dead Taliban fighters. Military officials reported the practice of ‘Urine-boarding’ has now been canned in favour of  reliable and more traditional methods like lancing and stake burning. The unorthodox form of interrogation… Read more »

lluminati Break Up Over Creative Differences

THE members of a society called the lluminati shocked conspiracy theorists and the Internet world yesterday by announcing that they are splitting up after 240 years at the top. The group, one of the world’s most secret, was formed in Ingolstadt, upper Bavaria, in 1776 and went on to control the world by manipulating the minds of 7 billion… Read more »