Category: WORLD NEWS

Theory on ‘Invisible’ Dark Matter Which Holds Universe Together Is ‘Absolute fairytale’, Says Pope

THE POPE has laughed-off sciences latest theory on ‘dark matter’, saying that the idea of an invisible force that holds the entire universe together is an ‘absolute fairytale’. The Holy see slammed the hypothesis earlier this week and asked people who believed in the idea to ‘get a reality check’. A spokesman for the Vatican told… Read more »

‘My Only Regret Is Not Featuring In An Internet Viral Video Campaign’, Says Dying Mugabe

ZIMBABWEAN dictator Robert Mugabe told family members and friends last night that his only regret was never featuring in an internet viral video campaign like ‘Kony 2012’. The cancer stricken leader flew to Singapore by private jet on Saturday for treatment, but took a turn for the best and is said to be suffering excruciating pain in his final… Read more »

Pippa Middleton’s Arse Announces Split With Cheeks

Pippa Middleton’s arse has parted with its cheeks, after an astonishing 28 years together. The buttocks of the younger sister of the Duchess of Cambridge announced on its website, pippamiddletonsarse.com, that the marriage was over after it’s cheeks decided to go its separate ways last week. It wrote: “I am very sad to say that myself and cheeks have parted due to… Read more »

Queen ‘Fucking Stoked’ About Jubilee

THE Queen of England said she was ‘fucking stoked’ about her upcoming diamond jubilee celebrations, which will take place on the week-end of the 2-5 of June this year in London. The 85-year-old monarch told press today of her excitement when she arrived in King’s Lynn as she marks the 60th anniversary of her accession to… Read more »

Iran ‘Planning’ To Sneak Into Western Homes And Eat Babies While Parents Sleep

AMERICA’S leading intelligence official, James Clapper, warned today that Iran is planning to eat western babies while unsuspecting parents are asleep in their nice, cosy beds. The US director of national intelligence said Iranian special forces, who are hiding all over the world, were plotting to eat random babies in a sick and evil operation code… Read more »

‘Black Actors Still Being Typecast For Black Roles’, Say Anti-Racism Group

AN anti-racism organisation, Anti-Racist Action (ARA), slammed the film industry today, claiming black actors are still being typecast for black film roles in Hollywood. A survey carried out by the ARA has revealed that black actors still feel that their skin colour does not allow them to play other races like Caucasian or Hispanic in movies. Spokesman for… Read more »