Category: LOCAL NEWS

Garda Whistleblower Tribunal Confirms Callinan’s Pension Still Nice & Safe

A REPORT into the treatment of Garda whistleblowers by senior Garda has vindicated whistleblower Garda Maurice McCabe while pointing to a conspiracy by former Commissioner Marton Callinan and Garda press officer Dave Taylor to denigrate and tarnish the officer’s reputation all because McCabe was attempting to expose corruption within the force. The exemplary work and… Read more »

Rebel County Hasn’t Rebelled In Ages

THE COUNTY of Cork is in serious danger of losing its designation as the ‘Rebel County’ after new research suggests it hasn’t rebelled in ages. The Irish Council of County Names and Nicknames (ICCNN) has warned Cork it has until May next year to rebel or it will be stripped of its treasured title. “This… Read more »

Guide To Publicly Embarrassing Yourself As An Irish Presidential Candidate

WHILE the Irish public is scrambling around desperately to shield the outside world from all evidence that an embarrassing charade of a presidential election is still ongoing, WWN has gathered together a guide to help budding embarrassments in their quest to publicly humiliate themselves. Despite the fact that the Irish public will deny all knowledge… Read more »

Government Advises Low Income Earners To Just Become Landlord TDs

AFTER a stunning unveiling of Budget 2019, the government has confirmed that anyone feeling a bit shortchanged by the spending measures outlined should really seriously consider becoming a multi-property owning TD. “Think of all the tax relief. You might be griping about how the budget doesn’t exactly seem fiscally responsible either, spending wise, but our… Read more »

Local Woman’s Attitude Unlikely To Get Her A Husband

THE highfalutin’ and freewheelin’ attitude of Waterford singleton Alice Wilson hasn’t won her the favour of any potential suitors in her hometown, with most people convinced that the 27-year-old is destined ‘for the shelf’. Wilson first came to the attention of her neighbours when she achieved 580 points in her Leaving Cert, thus moving her from… Read more »

“This Is Not An Election Budget” Confirms Taoiseach Day Before Election Budget

TAOISEACH LEO Varadkar has rubbished claims that tomorrow Budget 2019 is an election budget, WWN can confirm. Speaking while handing out ‘Vote Fine Gael’ leaflets at a Dart station in Dublin, the Taoiseach confirmed the budget was merely a sensible and prudent budget that was definitely not full of carrots being dangled before the electorate…. Read more »