AFTER a brief sojourn away from the headlines, the abuse of children has made its return to news bulletins and front pages of national newspapers in Ireland, WWN can confirm. Taking the previous week off to allow the general public to get comfortable and used to the idea that the country they live in might… Read more »
THE government has acted decisively in a bid to stave off accusations that they have, in collusion with cash-strapped media outlets, essentially spent taxpayer’s money on lying to the taxpayer by paying a private Unspin Unit to correct the spinning of the government’s Spin Unit, WWN has confusingly learned. “We know how wildly inappropriate this… Read more »
THE hands of the craic doomsday clock have been moved forward by experts for the first time in nearly 20 years, with experts fearing that the sheer ‘gasness’ of being Irish may breach the tolerable ‘craic = 90’ benchmark in the coming weeks. The combination of St. Patrick’s Day, the amount of pent-up craic accumulated… Read more »
A SPOKESPERSON for the government and the HSE has expressed their dismay at the fact a social media post from a psychiatric nurse, who has criticised how she and her colleagues are treated in Ireland, has gone viral, with the spokesperson careful to dismiss the post which has over 44,000 likes as just nurses whinging… Read more »
WATERFORD stylist Emma Reilly has today exhaustively broken down mid-highlights, admitting to the woman who’s hair she was working on that she really doesn’t want any details about where she’s going to on holidays or if she has any plans for the weekend, and that she can no longer keep up this small-talk charade for… Read more »
IT has been revealed that the nine men accused of destroying a branch of Lidl during Storm Emma have been granted bail at a significantly lower price than if they had targeted another supermarket, thanks to Lidl’s consistently lower prices when compared to competing stores. Social media lit up at the weekend as the brazen… Read more »
A SPECIALLY-formed unit of An Garda Síochana has been drafted in to help solve the mysterious circumstances surrounding the deaths of hundreds of angels across Ireland, with only their telltale outline in the fresh snow brought by Storm Emma for clues. A spokesperson for the Snow Patrol has estimated that as many as 786 angels were… Read more »
IT WAS the moment they feared would never come again, but despite the paralysing horror that was the thought they would never see the inside of their local pub again many members of the public have been reunited with their beloved watering holes after the worst of Storm Emma dissipated. Hugging the walls of pubs… Read more »
“SURE isn’t it probably their first time ever seeing snow, let alone playing in it?” marveled Waterford woman Ciara Shandling, looking out her front window at the Middle Eastern kids from seven doors down playing in the deluge of snow dumped on the country by Storm Emma overnight. “Look at them, they probably haven’t a… Read more »
