IRELAND’S newest online gambling venture QuinnBet has opened a number of novelty markets to celebrate it’s first week in business, including 2/1 odds that nobody in the country fully remembers the exact circumstances which caused owner Sean Quinn to file for bankruptcy, or why he spent nine weeks in jail. Veteran businessman Sean Quinn launched… Read more »
AS students across Ireland prepare for a night of celebrations after receiving their Leaving Cert results, baffled parents have taken to the internet in a bid to understand the new grading system, so that they can work out exactly how their children have fared. The old ‘A1-D3’ system of grading the Leaving Cert has been… Read more »
A WATERFORD woman is now being tipped for the Turner Prize after inadvertently creating a one of a kind masterpiece out of her bed sheets, the morning after a night out with her friends. Covered head to toe in excessive amounts of fake tan, 26-year-old Alannah O’Mahony retired to bed at 3.45am after drinking in… Read more »
AS tensions escalate between Dublin’s drivers and cyclists, Dublin City Council has enlisted the help of a UN peacekeeping envoy in a bid to avert an all out civil war. Drivers, described by cyclists as homicidal bastards, have failed to see eye-to-eye with cyclists they describe as reckless pricks who have no respect for the… Read more »
A GOVERNMENT watchdog has found that a staggering 11% of Irish foster carers are actually two-dimensional cardboard cutouts and have little, if not any, experience in taking care of children. HIQA, the independent authority that exists to improve health and social care services for the people of Ireland, said there may be as much as… Read more »
DUBLIN CITY Council has confirmed that new traffic plans will see the entire city centre vehicle and pedestrian free by 2030, in a move that is to wipe out all congestion by 100%. The genius proposal, which will ban all road vehicles and human beings from entering a 4 mile radius of the busy capital,… Read more »
THERE’S some great news for sun-seekers this weekend as temperatures are set to reach a balmy 21C in most parts of the country, however its not all plain sailing as a 50 mile wide meteor is set to plough into the North Atlantic on Sunday evening killing every living thing on the planet. Met Eireann… Read more »
A WATERFORD newsagents has placed a poster in the front window proclaiming that it has recently sold a jackpot-winning Lotto ticket, as if that makes them some sort of big swinging dick now all of a sudden. Sheehan’s Spar shop in Dunmore was also featured in the local news, beaming about how they sold the winning ticket… Read more »
DERRYNANE locals were left reeling today after realising a full-blown music festival went on under their noses in a protected National Park in Kerry, and no one had the decency to invite them. It is believed over 60 teenagers descended on the Kerry beach over the bank holiday weekend, leaving behind a “trail of destruction”, including human… Read more »
