AFTER finally reaching out to his GP in a bid to confront the anxiety and depression that has dragged him down for as long as he can remember, local man Cillian O’Hearne now spends his days on a range of hastily-prescribed medication which may be helping or may not, time will tell. 28-year-old O’Hearne assured WWN… Read more »
CONTRARY to the opinions of passers-by who remark on the stunning spring beauty of a fully-grown cherry blossom tree in full bloom, car-owners across the country have come together in one voice to dismiss the trees as being ‘rubbish factories which need to be chopped down and burned immediately’. Currently in their petal-shedding season, cherry… Read more »
A LOCAL Waterford mother has countered her daughter’s pleas for her to vote to repeal the 8th amendment in the upcoming referendum with the fact that she had heard somewhere a story about how everyone would be getting abortions. 67-year-old Caroline Lawther had explained to her daughter, Jessica, that she heard a person interviewed on… Read more »
HUNDREDS of thousands of news fans braved cold temperatures overnight to secure their tickets for what is expected to be the greatest and most intelligent live stage show of the world has ever seen. Queues spanning up to four kilometers began building outside Ticketmaster outlets across the country from last week, with desperate fans setting up their camping gear… Read more »
DESPITE the relatively small size of the island of Ireland people from different backgrounds encounter prejudice and stereotyping every day, which is only made possible by the ignorance of others. WWN, in an attempt to bring knuckle dragging muck savages from rural Ireland closer to their urbane and sophisticated Dublin superiors, we are here to… Read more »
ARE you a judge with the potential responsibility for deciding the prison sentence of a serial rapist, but are unsure if 3 hours and 13 minutes in jail is too severe a punishment? If you are, well then this guide to lenient sentencing from us here at WWN Legal is just what you’ve been looking… Read more »
IN a bid to make sure that no local charities receive funding that he contributed to in any way, local dickface Martin Whelahan has amassed dozens upon dozens of blue charity tokens from his shopping excursions to Tesco. Whelahan, described locally as ‘a fucking dose’, has never dropped any of the blue tokens into the… Read more »
STILL SMARTING from a bruising life which has left him with nothing but €4 billion plus in the bank and a vast media empire, sources close to vulnerable and helpless Denis O’Brien have confirmed he is currently sizing up a map of Ireland while muttering “you will pay, every last one of you” under his… Read more »
DILIGENT And dedicated Irish Water workers are set for bonuses after successfully putting together a graphic showing a potential water pump from the Shannon linking to Dublin, adding to recent bonuses paid to staff in March averaging €5,000 each. The graphic, which is full of graphics, shows how Ireland could connect its Shannon water supply… Read more »
