THE Conservative Party has succeeded in their motion to rename the 1972 massacre in Derry, formerly known as ‘Bloody Sunday’, following a party-wide agreement that Northern Secretary Karen Bradley’s ‘dignified and appropriate’ remark in the Commons yesterday has ‘a nice ring to it’. Although the 12-year Saville Inquiry found that the murders on that fateful… Read more »
THE Waterford town of Lismore has come under scrutiny after news broke of locals’ disturbing intention to welcome a family of refugees with open arms, WWN can regretfully report. Lismore was selected by the Department of Justice as one of a number of towns to run a pilot community sponsorship programme which involves helping refugees… Read more »
A NEW bill which will allocate a dedicated drink driving lane on all primary and secondary roads around the country is expected to be passed in the Dáil tomorrow afternoon, WWN can confirm. The segregated lane will feature sophisticated crash barriers that absorb high speed impacts, allowing intoxicated motorists willing to take their own lives into their hands to drive separately from sober lanes without… Read more »
THE Supreme Court has ruled today that businessman Denis O’Brien’s privacy was not breached during a 2015 debate about the sale of Siteserv, making this the second failed legal action in a matter of days which could cost the Maltese native several Michael Lowrys in legal fees. Last week, a jury, by a majority, dismissed a High… Read more »
THERE have been fresh calls for a discussion about a possible Irish exit from the European Union, following an EU committee decision to ban the biannual changing of the clocks, putting thousands of Irish lie-ins in jeopardy. A group of MEPs agreed this week that the changing of the times by one hour twice a year… Read more »
A BUSY Waterford workplace has descended into chaos after one colleague revealed their psychopathic tendencies when freely admitting they do not like pancakes. Neil Drummond (27) has been repeatedly asked “what do you mean you don’t like pancakes?” by his coworkers, with some colleagues from the 2nd, 3rd and 4th floors coming down to the… Read more »
THE IRISH public let out a shrill cry before dramatically fainting after learning its government may have shown preferential treatment to multinationals operating in Ireland, WWN can reveal. Claims made in The Observer newspaper this weekend suggest Facebook has for a number of years aggressively lobbied politicians in the EU, including former Taoiseach Enda Kenny,… Read more »
NEW data released by search engine Google and to a lesser extent search engine Bing have revealed that the most searched for terms in Ireland all revolve around whether or not we as a nation are entitled to compensation arising from our time in school. With queries ranging from ‘denied adequate career advice’ to ‘routinely… Read more »
LONG SUFFERING girlfriend Andrea Hines is having her patience sorely tested this evening by her boyfriend Ciaran Connell, WWN can reveal. Ciaran’s habit of uttering the phrase ‘yeah, be ready in five minutes’ is putting the couple at risk of starting their weekend off with an argument as Hines fears a repeat of a recent… Read more »
