Category: LOCAL NEWS

Bloody Sunday Downgraded To ‘Dignified & Appropriate Sunday’

THE Conservative Party has succeeded in their motion to rename the 1972 massacre in Derry, formerly known as ‘Bloody Sunday’, following a party-wide agreement that Northern Secretary Karen Bradley’s ‘dignified and appropriate’ remark in the Commons yesterday has ‘a nice ring to it’. Although the 12-year Saville Inquiry found that the murders on that fateful… Read more »

New Drink Driving Lanes Proposed In Ireland

A NEW bill which will allocate a dedicated drink driving lane on all primary and secondary roads around the country is expected to be passed in the Dáil tomorrow afternoon, WWN can confirm. The segregated lane will feature sophisticated crash barriers that absorb high speed impacts, allowing intoxicated motorists willing to take their own lives into their hands to drive separately from sober lanes without… Read more »

Local Boyfriend Taking Ages To Get Ready

LONG SUFFERING girlfriend Andrea Hines is having her patience sorely tested this evening by her boyfriend Ciaran Connell, WWN can reveal. Ciaran’s habit of uttering the phrase ‘yeah, be ready in five minutes’ is putting the couple at risk of starting their weekend off with an argument as Hines fears a repeat of a recent… Read more »