THE SOARING temperatures occurring as the country descends into a sweaty mess will result in the entirety of Ireland bursting into flames any minute now, weather experts have warned. The country of Ireland, which comes with instructions to ‘store in a cool, dry place and never putting in direct sunlight’ is perilously close to exceeding… Read more »
A DEADLY new strain of hay fever is currently gripping the male population of Ireland, with symptoms that are said to be exponentially more severe than the regular variant of the pollen intolerance. With women said to be largely unaffected, the strain dubbed ‘Man Hay Fever’ is said to be almost as lethal as other… Read more »
A LOCAL DUBLIN boss sees nothing wrong with emailing you at 10.34pm to follow up on another email he sent at 9.47pm in the evening despite the fact you usually clock off at 5pm and you’re actually on a day off today, WWN can reveal. David Cowans, of Byron Services LTD, who routinely spaces out… Read more »
WILDLY POPULAR game Fortnite has over 125 million players across the world and is obsessively played by its fans. All sounds like a remarkable success story, right? Wrong! If your child is playing it, it is turning them into a psychopath. Don’t believe us? Well we broke into your house while you were at work… Read more »
IT’S THE HOTTEST gig of the year and it’s close to selling out! The Pope’s epic ‘Prayer Sesh in The Park 2018’ had 500,000 tickets up for grabs but just one hour after going live, the tickets were all but snapped up, and there’s not a pew to be had in Knock either. If you… Read more »
THE GAA, the governing body for Gaelic Games in Ireland, has set the record straight and corrected the false stories emanating from around the country, specifically Kildare, which incorrectly claim the GAA has use of more than one stadium. Issuing a statement after the Kildare county board invented an imaginary stadium they claim can hold… Read more »
WITH a heavy heart and a tear forming in the corner of his eye, local man Dean Grange handed over the keys of his 2007 Peaugout 206 to a gruff, uncaring NCT test mechanic, who disappeared off to the carpark, leaving Grange to sit in the cold sterility of the test centre waiting room. “Go… Read more »
ONE IRISH IT college has stolen a march on its rivals by offering the first ever degree in Love Island studies, WWN can reveal. Waterford IT will offer the 3 year degree starting this September, with modules including ‘Introduction to Recoupling’ and ‘Statistical Analysis: 100% my type on paper’ and aims to give students a… Read more »
A WELCOME jobs boost for Dublin as internet company thing Amazon has confirmed they are in the market for 1,000 highly qualified robots to take up positions at their offices in Blanchardstown and Tallaght. “This is just the opening I’ve been looking for,” confirmed Automated Production Unit 45678X3, expelling several joyous bleeps and boops. Serving… Read more »
