TOP of the morning to you, fellow Irish people! It’s time to talk about the evil of abortion, and how you guys should think long and hard about your upcoming referendum that would allow widespread baby murder in your country. We mean, our country. The Irish people’s country, that we Irish people share together. If your… Read more »
ARMED with a glass of red wine, a slice of pizza and an awaiting tray of chocolate, one Dublin based woman is reportedly having the greatest fucking night in ever, eclipsing previous standards which were once believed impossible to surpass. Jessica Lally (28), was set to have a great night but recent news that all… Read more »
A RENOWNED local dry shite has finally been upgraded to ‘damp shite’ status after making the reckless decision to stay out with friends passed 11pm on a Friday. Ciaran Gobson, from Tramore, had previously been described by friends as the driest of dry shites while being caught engaging in prolonged conversations with him likened to… Read more »
ALTHOUGH independent TD Danny Healy-Rae has received harsh criticism for insensitive remarks made about abortion in the case of fatal foetal abnormalities, there has been widespread agreement that he and his brother Michael are very good to their constituents, WWN can confirm. Keeping up the Healy-Rae family tradition of being incredibly savvy politicians who appeal… Read more »
AHEAD of the upcoming referendum on the repeal of the 8th amendment the public have been told to check if they are registered to vote or face completely relinquishing their right to moan about the result of the vote. Members of the public have been warned that if they are of voting age but not… Read more »
THE EUROPEAN COURT of Human Rights (ECHR) has rejected the assertion that the 14 men, known otherwise as the ‘Hooded Men’ were subjected to a series of torture methods by the British Army in Northern Ireland, stating that the apparent torture ‘wasn’t torturey enough’. Being placed in stress positions, subjected to white noise, sleep deprivation… Read more »
AFTER MAKING his return from his St Patrick’s Day trip to America, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has been asked by the Nation to act less like a fawning idiot next time his job requires him to travel abroad and promote Ireland to the world. The Taoiseach’s dream week in the US was dented by a harmless… Read more »
MINISTER for Transport, Tourism and Sport Shane Ross has hit back at criticisms surrounding a €150,000 grant for a new hockey pitch awarded to Wesley College last week, stating that the fee-paying students at the prestigious school would get better use out of the money than the feet-dragging paupers in other State-run kips. Up to… Read more »
“MEAD. That was the tough one. It’s hard to stand on the side of a hill and convert a thousand Celts the morning after you’ve had a fucking skinful of Mead,” said St. Patrick, mournfully taking a drag on an Amber Leaf rollie as he stared out across the tundras of heaven. Patrick, who recently… Read more »
