Category: LOCAL NEWS


Kinahan Cartel To Use Recyclable Drug Packaging From 2020

THE Kinahin cartel has become the latest multi-billion euro consumer goods group to undertake pledges on recycling plastic packaging by vowing to use 100% recyclable wrapping on all drug shipments from 2020, an associate confirmed today. The shift will see Europe’s biggest importer and distributor of illegal narcotics paving the way to become the leading ecological cartel… Read more »

Ireland Fucked, UK Fucked, The North Fucked, Everything Fucked

THE last remaining shreds of optimism surrounding the fate of Ireland following Brexit have been swept away by a tsunami of grim reality, with almost everyone on all sides finally admitting that ‘the whole thing is completely fucking fucked’. The facade of ‘it’ll be alright’ began to show irreparable cracks following Boris Johnson’s victorious campaign… Read more »

Croagh Patricia Annual Pilgrimage Ignored By Sexist Media

CALLS for a more representative and inclusive approach to covering Irish hills, mounds and mountains has been called for after the annual pilgrimage to Croagh Patricia was virtually ignored with the media preferring to lavish the male summit of Croagh Patrick with the lion’s share of coverage. “Every year there’s a pilgrimage on Croagh Patricia… Read more »

GAA Launch Witness Protection Program For Referees

FEARING for the safety of match referees and staff over questionable calls on the field, the Gaelic Athletics Association has launched an optional witness protection program which will relocate referee’s abroad, WWN can confirm. The new measure launched shortly after the weekend’s All Ireland hurling semi-final, where the referees, linesmen and umpires came under fire for… Read more »

Suprising Lack Of Bodies In Drained Canal

DUBLIN residents have admitted to being surpirsed at the serious lack of human remains being found following the collapse of a storm drain which left a section of the Grand Canal drained yesterday afternoon, WWN can confirm. Not one single body part or weapon was to be seen on the now dried out canal bed, leading locals… Read more »