DOCTORS in St Vincent’s hospital in Dublin have had to seek a specialist opinion from their US counterparts this week after a young man was admitted to A&E following a terrible beating, which forced 10 separate shades of shit to evacuate his intestines. Daniel Murphy, with an inner city address not that it says anything… Read more »
WORKERS in McDonalds in the UK have taken strike action for the first time, demanding an end to zero hours contracts, and better pay and conditions overall. Should this strike extend to Ireland, then McDonald’s customers may be faced with two problems; where to get five eurosaver hamburgers at 2 o’clock in the morning, and… Read more »
WATERFORD man Henry Gorman has admitted to being rather ‘teed-off’ by the incessant noise coming from TV, radio and online news outlets which seem hell bent on claiming the strongest storm on record, Hurricane Irma, can light a candle to Hurricane Charley, the 1986 hurricane which hit Irish shores and knocked over a tree or… Read more »
FEARS relating to the after effects of Britain leaving the EU are intensifying after the latest dire warning from experts. While the Irish government is hoping to make the country home to any multinationals leaving Britain in the wake of Brexit, experts from the Oh My God It’s Worse Than We Could Have Imagined, We’re… Read more »
BREEZING into the office this morning at 9.05am, Garda Commissioner Noirin O’Sullivan was the picture perfect definition of a well rested and thoroughly relaxed individual after her brief 5-week stint away from An Garda Síochána. “Anything happen while I was away?” queried the Commissioner as she leafed through a very sparse pile of post from… Read more »
THOSE expressing alarm about the escalating tensions between the United States and North Korea have been urged to ‘chillax their kacks’ by one Dublin taxi driver, who has made assurances that a nuclear exchange between the two countries is unlikely to happen. Finbar Callaghan, 57, firmly expressed his beliefs that a nuclear conflict won’t happen… Read more »
LOCAL LISMORE woman Rebecca O’Dowd always has something wrong with her if her most recent 1,000 health complaints are to be believed, WWN has learned. O’Dowd, 27, had only recently gotten over a severe case of the sniffles before being struck down with a back ache which probably started because of how she tied her… Read more »
“AUL McCarthy, is it? Heart at him?” said Noel Coughlan, the 76-year-old man assigned to a team of paramedics operating out of Carlow General Hospital. “Right, take the first left out the gate there and we’ll tip on out until we get the petrol station that isn’t there anymore and then we’ll take the fifth… Read more »
SO you’ve followed your county to every single match they played; through hail, sleet, wind and rain but for some reason can’t seem to secure an All Ireland hurling final ticket for this Sunday? Never fear, the securing all Ireland hurling final ticket guys at WWN are here: As you may have already found out,… Read more »
