Category: LOCAL NEWS

Students Devastated At Thought Of Teachers Strike

STUDENTS have expressed their utter devastation at the possibility of an upcoming teaching strike. The keen learners ranging in age from 12-18 have made their feelings known in regards to the latest impasse between the coalition Government and the teaching unions. The frosty relationship between the Government and the ASTI remains intact as the teachers’… Read more »

Irish Nurses Hope To Break Guinness World Record For Stomach Pumping This Arthur’s Day

Nurses working in A&E at St Vincent’s hospital in Dublin are excited by the prospect of becoming world record breakers this Arthur’s Day. The long standing day celebrating all things Guinness continues to enrapture vast swathes of the Irish public keen on acquiring debilitating early liver failure. The nurses hope to break the current record… Read more »

Assad Regime Behind Dail Lock Out Protest, Warns Irish Media

THE IRISH press has warned that the Assad regime maybe behind the lock-out protest at Leinster house today, which is currently being overseen be a substantial number of Gardai. Hundreds of officers were drafted in amid fears that demonstrators would attempt a military style coup on the Government, coining the phrase ‘The Cathoilc Spring’ among witty… Read more »

Coppers To Be Declared Unesco World Heritage Site.

Irish tourism received a major boost today following the announcement that Coppers, Dublin’s beloved nightclub, will be awarded heritage status by Unesco; the arm of the UN which promotes science, education and culture throughout the world. The honour was bestowed upon the exalted late night venue following a lengthy process. Dublin’s Lord Mayor Oisín Quinn… Read more »

‘Slane Girl’ Photo Bringing Out The Best In Everyone

A PHOTOGRAPH depicting a man receiving oral sex while apparently at Slane over the weekend has highlighted everything that is right with Irish society and internet culture. The photograph which amounts to amateur pornography is being willfully shared across several social networking sites by righteous individuals. Many users spent considerable time carefully perfecting pun-heavy jokes… Read more »