Category: LOCAL NEWS

Ireland Opens First ‘Don’t Fucking Mention Christmas’ Zone In Dublin

USING the ingenuity, anger and intimidation Dubliners are famous for, a group of intrepid capital city residents have opened the country’s very first ‘Don’t Fucking Mention Christmas Zone’ today. “The idea is pretty simple,” explained head of security at the zone Seamus Clifford, “mention Christmas or wear a stupid Christmas jumper and we’ll box the… Read more »

Calls For Emergency Aid As Distraught Mayo Family Lose Patio Chair In Hurricane Gonzalo

HURRICANE survivors, the Mooney family, are calling on the government for emergency aid after one of their patio chairs was swept away in last night’s storm, leaving them with an “odd numbered patio set” in their back garden today. Michael (27) and Patricia Mooney (25) were left “devastated” following the discovery early this morning. “We… Read more »

Hurricane To Bring Strong Winds, Rain & Excuse To Moan About Everything

THE blustery and rain-soaked aftermath of Hurricane Gonzalo is fast approaching Irish shores, giving dour and negative people the perfect excuse to moan about everything. Sustained winds and unrelenting rain will provide some people with a thinly veiled an opportunity to shoehorn in any grievances they currently have into conversations about the weather, despite having… Read more »