Category: LOCAL NEWS


Child’s Letter To Santa Full Of Veiled Threats

 The excitement and anticipation surrounding Christmas is well and truly underway in these, the first few days of December.Homes up and down the country will be kitted out with decorations and an excessively large tree in the coming days. The O’Malley household in Drogheda, Louth will be no exception. Conor O’Malley, the youngest in his… Read more »

Illegal Wheelchair Racing Ring Shut Down

Five nurses and two doctors based in Connolly Hospital, Blanchardstown, Dublin have been arrested today. It is believed the individuals are the masterminds behind an underground illegal wheelchair racing ring rumoured to be worth as much as 20 million euro a year. The group are accused of organising wheelchair races involving patients at Connolly Hospital,… Read more »

Criminals Criticise Working Conditions

Following a botched post office robbery in Co. Meath yesterday the Criminal’s Union of Ireland (CUI) has spoken out against the hazardous job conditions its members must work in. It is believed a CUI member was badly injured when his balaclava fell over his eyes and he ran into a shelf knocking himself out during… Read more »

Swans More Evil Than You Could Ever Have Imagined

A report issued today by the Department of Agriculture, Food and the Marine claims that a swan’s capacity for pure evil far exceeds the levels once previously accepted. A spokesperson for the Dept. has pleaded with the public to remain vigilant at all times even in locations one would not normally associate with swans like… Read more »

Guy Sitting Next To You On The Bus Listening To His Music Having A ‘Moment’

Unbeknownst to you, during your daily morning commute into work, a fellow passenger was having what people commonly call ‘a moment’. 26-year-old Graphic Designer Paul Cullen, not fully content with just enjoying the precious few minutes leading up to the daily grind, descended into a deeply existential state. As the window next to you fogged… Read more »