Category: LOCAL NEWS

Dead Arms Up 23% Since Last Year, Warns School Bully

DEAD arms have risen by almost a quarter compared to the same time last year, Gerry Ronan warned first year students today. Ronan, a self confessed bully, found an increase of 34 dead arms in the first three months of 2015. “M’after handing out at least three deadners today already.” said the second year student, who… Read more »

Rachel Allen Arrested Over Alleged Cruelty To Goots

CELEBRITY chef Rachel Allen is being held in Garda custody today, after a raid by the ISPCA on Ballymaloe House revealed widespread instances of apparent cruelty to a herd of Goots. Sources have revealed that Allen imported the animals from a black market Goot trader in early 2009, and bred them for dairy purposes on… Read more »