Category: LOCAL NEWS


Dalai Lama, Bill Clinton, Bono, Iron Man, Kanye West, Crocodile Dundee, Kim Jong-Un, Corpse Of Pope John Paul II & Lassie Arrive At Stormont Ahead Of Crunch Talks

BOTH the UK and Ireland have pulled out all the stops in a last-ditch attempt to get the Northern Ireland Executive back up and running in Stormont today, by inviting along literally anyone they think will be able to talk some sense into Sinn Féin and the DUP and restore some form of power-sharing agreement for the first time… Read more »

Dublin Teenager Scoops Gold In ‘Skulling Smirnoff Ice’ Event

THERE’S great news today in the Irish camp at the 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics, after 17-year-old Dublin teenager Tiffany McDonald secured Ireland’s first gold medal of the tournament with a stunning victory in the ‘sinking bottles of Smirnoff Ice like they’re about to be banned’ event. Full-time student McDonald attributed her outstanding capacity for drinking… Read more »

Healy-Raes Merge To Form One Super-TD

LEINSTER House has been put on high alert following reports that a huge amount of boiling, uncontrollable Kerry temper has caused the Healy-Rae brothers to fuse together to form one Super-TD, with enough political-savvy and shouting power to control the flow of politics in Ireland for a generation. Concerns were raised about the possibility of… Read more »

School Career Guidance Teachers Asked What They Do Exactly

SCRAMBLING to justify their existence, career guidance teachers throughout the country have responded to questions about the level of work that goes into their job by asking ‘what’s something you’d really like to do?’ in a softly spoken and engaging voice. “Look, I get it, we’re an easy target but we’re with students every step… Read more »

Dad Secretly Proud Of Infant Son’s Horrific Shits

NEW father Liam Weston has opened up to WWN about his secret admiration for the sheer horror of his infant son’s dirty nappies, stating that they bring tears to his eyes ‘in more ways than one’. Weston and his wife Charlotte welcomed their new arrival Jack into their lives 6 weeks ago, and the Waterford couple… Read more »