Category: LOCAL NEWS

Lotto Winner Discovers 47 Cousins He Never Knew He Had

A RECENT Irish winner of a bumper Euromillions jackpot has discovered a double-decker bus full of cousins he was hitherto completely unaware of, WWN can reveal. Michael Drennan’s extended network of cousins, first cousins, second cousins, step cousins and half cousin twice removed made themselves known to the 37-year-old Tramore native in the hours after… Read more »

Local Couple Haven’t Had A Night Out In Ages

SEEKING to correct a trend which has continued unabated for ‘God’s knows how long’, one Waterford couple have declared that they haven’t had a night out in ages, shocking the close knit Waterford county community. Sighting current responsibilities, including working, heading to the gym and raising their child, Tramore couple Michael Harney and Tina Longan… Read more »

Scumbag, Scaldy Or Scrote: What’s The Best Name For Someone With An Inner City Accent?

Scumbag, scaldy, scrote, skanger or knackbag? Chav, chungfella, clingfilm, the head on him, triffid, dazzleplop, lockjawed nazzle twerp, my my my Deliah? Just some of the names ascribed to inherently evil and morally repugnant ‘people’ who dwell within the confines of Ireland’s otherwise glorious cities. And while those names are useful ways of describing someone… Read more »

Government’s ‘Yes’ Honeymoon Lasts 3 Days

THE Government has been asked to return to work following a lengthy honeymoon during which it patted itself on its back for singlehandedly delivering a successful Yes vote in the recent referendum. “Fuc…fiddlesticks, thought maybe that went away” remarked Minister for Health Simon Harris, as he bore witness to nationwide protests over the Cervical Check… Read more »