Category: LOCAL NEWS

Ireland To Be Left In Bowl Of Rice Overnight

IN an unprecedented meteorological experiment, the island of Ireland is to be submerged in a bowl filled with billions of tonnes of uncooked rice for 12 to 18 hours to see if it can be dried up a bit, WWN can exclusively confirm. The move comes as the country is buffeted by yet another series… Read more »

New IRA Launch Counterfeit Movie Streaming Service

HOT on the heels of Disney’s announcements surrounding their content plan for their Disney+ streaming service, the paramilitary organisation known as the New IRA have revealed that they will be offering bootlegged movies, music and videogames via their own subscription-based service known as ‘RAflix’. With this current iteration of the IRA missing the lucrative early… Read more »

Murderer Left Out On Bale By Irish Judge

THE IRISH public was offered a stark reminder of the ever expanding disconnect between Irish judges and appropriate decisions following a judge’s order to remand a serial killer on a bale of hay before his trial begins. “Do you even law, judge?” remarked a barrister representing the State, who was mindful of similar and recent… Read more »

Earthquake Reminds Government That Ireland Still Owns Donegal

DONEGAL was struck by a 2.4 magnitude earthquake on Sunday night reminding the government once again that yes, Ireland still owns the North Western county despite not paying it very much attention over the past 100 years or so. Picking up a dusty rotary phone labeled ‘County Donegal’, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and his advisers spent several minutes deciphering the… Read more »