Category: LOCAL NEWS


Local Psycho Actually Likes Shite Weather

AN APPARENT psychopath has declared his fondness for shite and inclement weather, specifically the horrid unremitting bleakness associated with the depths of winter, WWN can reveal. Andy Colgan (33) has been eagerly anticipating the drop in temperature, the reduction in light in the evenings, the increase in the chill and rain since the end of… Read more »

Garda Whistleblower Tribunal Confirms Callinan’s Pension Still Nice & Safe

A REPORT into the treatment of Garda whistleblowers by senior Garda has vindicated whistleblower Garda Maurice McCabe while pointing to a conspiracy by former Commissioner Marton Callinan and Garda press officer Dave Taylor to denigrate and tarnish the officer’s reputation all because McCabe was attempting to expose corruption within the force. The exemplary work and… Read more »

Rebel County Hasn’t Rebelled In Ages

THE COUNTY of Cork is in serious danger of losing its designation as the ‘Rebel County’ after new research suggests it hasn’t rebelled in ages. The Irish Council of County Names and Nicknames (ICCNN) has warned Cork it has until May next year to rebel or it will be stripped of its treasured title. “This… Read more »

Guide To Publicly Embarrassing Yourself As An Irish Presidential Candidate

WHILE the Irish public is scrambling around desperately to shield the outside world from all evidence that an embarrassing charade of a presidential election is still ongoing, WWN has gathered together a guide to help budding embarrassments in their quest to publicly humiliate themselves. Despite the fact that the Irish public will deny all knowledge… Read more »

Government Advises Low Income Earners To Just Become Landlord TDs

AFTER a stunning unveiling of Budget 2019, the government has confirmed that anyone feeling a bit shortchanged by the spending measures outlined should really seriously consider becoming a multi-property owning TD. “Think of all the tax relief. You might be griping about how the budget doesn’t exactly seem fiscally responsible either, spending wise, but our… Read more »