WHILE many have welcomed the essential investment in the city, others have pointed out that spending €10 million on papering over the cracks doesn’t really amount to anything. “I hear the council are putting in pretty street lights,” confirmed local unemployed John Cummings, “fair play to them boi, that’ll fuckin’ sort everything out”. In light… Read more »
ABSOLUTELY everybody in the country today are said to be struggling to contain their excitement for Audrey Mahon, who married her long-term partner Dave Mahon in a civil ceremony in Dublin yesterday afternoon. The happy couple, who had been engaged for eight years, tied the knot in a local hotel in a brief service surrounded… Read more »
A NEW study by some of the countries leading education specialists has revealed that a large portion of Leaving Cert students are more concerned about their Debs ball than they are about their upcoming examinations. The survey was taken over a wide range of students across the country, and revealed that even the most studious… Read more »
THE Garda Commissioner has warned members of the public to avoid ‘broad daylight’ if they are worried about being mugged or attacked, in a new awareness campaign launched in Dublin city this afternoon. Nóirín O’Sullivan was speaking outside Garda headquarters in the Phoenix Park today. “After some research, we found a large majority of attacks… Read more »
DERMATOLOGICAL experts in one of Dublin’s leading hospitals are said to be “baffled” by a case in which a teenage girl appears to have turned completely red. The 17-year-old, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was admitted to the Mater Misericordiae hospital yesterday lunchtime, accompanied by several of her worried friends. Reports suggest that… Read more »
WITH silage season about to get into full swing, farmers across the country have put out their annual request for 16-year-old lads to drive enormous tractors around tiny country roads. Due to their smaller stature and youthful recklessness, culchie teens are deemed the ideal pilots for massive farm machinery, and most will spend their entire… Read more »
THE controversial poll that saw Irish men come out on top as the world’s sexiest has been called into question by experts today who have pointed out those voting have obviously never set foot in Cavan. Within minutes of the poll making headlines here in Ireland, the Nation’s women queried the result, stating ‘there has… Read more »
DESPITE the tragic story of Elaine O’Hara reaching its conclusion with the jailing for life of Graham Dwyer, the Irish media have confirmed that they will continue to run stories on the case which shocked the Nation, just for old times’ sake. Architect Dwyer went on trial for the murder of O’Hara, whose body was… Read more »
IN what may be the clearest indication yet that the no side in Ireland’s referendum debate are becoming truly desperate, they have chosen to launch their secret weapon which bears the cryptic codename ‘Operation John Waters’. While the yes side have been confused by the move with some believing it to be an idiotic act… Read more »
