Category: LOCAL NEWS

Post Paddy’s Day Clean Up To Cost €14.5 Billion

THE total cost of the post-Paddy’s Day clean up has already reached €14.5 billion, the highest on record in the post-boom years, WWN can reveal. As the public begins collecting their relatives and friends from busy city streets in which they drunkenly fall asleep on last night, local authorities are counting the cost of yet… Read more »

Runaway English Paddy’s Day Float Crashes Into GPO

A MAJOR incident is unfolding at the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Dublin city centre, WWN has learned. Gardaí, the Army and the Fire Brigade are all on the scene outside the GPO, in large numbers after what eye-witnesses described as a ‘pro-English’ float careened into the GPO causing significant damage. “We’re kicking ourselves now,… Read more »

Local Man Looks Nothing Like His Tinder Photos

A SLEW of disappointed Tinder users have come forward to report that Dublin man Ryan Hughes bears a striking dissimilarity to the photos used on his Tinder profile, WWN has learned. Hughes, 29, has used the popular dating app for some time with varying degrees of failure, and is steadily racking up a large number… Read more »

Dublin Girl ‘Totally Chilled Out’ After First Yoga Class

DUBLIN girl Emer Reilly has had a completely transformative experience after 30 minutes of a beginner’s yoga class, WWN can confirm. Despite only taking up yoga since yesterday evening and attending just one introductory class, the benefits of the experience have clearly manifested themselves in Emer’s new and barely recognisable Zen-like calm. “You wouldn’t believe… Read more »