Category: LOCAL NEWS

Irish Rugby Fan Comes Out As Gay For CJ Stander

A HETEROSEXUAL Irish rugby fan has defied all commonly held understanding of sexuality and sexual orientation after coming out as gay for CJ Stander and only CJ Stander. Carlow man Ciaran Gibbons’s appreciation of CJ Stander took on a more erotic tone after the Munster player picked up the man of the match award against… Read more »

Increasing Garda Resources A Priority All Of A Sudden, Confirm Government

THE coalition government has confirmed their priority is increasing Garda resources all of a sudden, confirming that such promises have nothing to do with the latest outbreak of violence connected to Irish crime gangs. “We closed Garda stations, hunted down whistle blowers talking about failings within the force and now we’re hiring a few extra… Read more »

“Lads, Could You Not Have Waited ‘Til After The Election?” – Gerry Adams

“SERIOUSLY?” Gerry Adams says, holding his head in his hands. “Could they not have waited three weeks to shoot that lad? Was there something wrong with shooting him in March? Were their bullets reaching their shoot-by date?”. The leader of Sinn Féin was expressing his dismay at the Continuity IRA, who today claimed responsibility for… Read more »

Varadkar’s Failings As Health Minister Forgiven After Being Voted Most ‘Dateable’ Politician

A VARIETY of issues relating to the Dublin TD Leo Varadkar’s performance in government since becoming minister for health have all been forgiven after he topped a completely pointless survey, WWN can reveal. With Mr. Varadkar topping a poll, conducted for no discernable reason by a mobile phone network, which sought to find Ireland’s most… Read more »