Category: LOCAL NEWS

Tragic Housewife Overdoses On E!

PRAYERS were being said last night for a tragic wife-of-one who was found unresponsive in her home yesterday, after an apparent overdose of E! Sheila Hanratty, from Balbriggan was rushed to Drogheda hospital after her husband Ian returned from work to find her slumped in an armchair. Ian promptly rang the emergency services, as his… Read more »

Traffic Lights On Roundabout Exits Working Out Just Perfectly

THERE has been widespread praise from motorists this week over the increasing number of traffic lights being placed at roundabout exits. Pedestrian crossings, situated at the mouth of many Irish roundabouts, have been hailed as a stunning success in the battle against practicality, trapping thousands of motorists in situ for hours every year. “There’s nothing like waiting to… Read more »

Family’s Grandfather Forgotten, But Not Gone

A GALWAY grandfather has reminded his extended family that he is not gone, but merely forgotten following three straight months of fuck all visitors. “Oh Jesus, I’m very much alive, despite my little pricks of sons seeming to forget it,” Fitzsimons confirmed. While families up and down the country lament sorrowfully at the loss of… Read more »