Category: LOCAL NEWS

Newgrange Broken

DOZENS of revellers attending the annual Winter Solstice at Newgrange in County Meath this morning have reported that the prehistoric monument seems to be broken, and doesn’t work at all. Speaking at the mound, historian Dermot Phelan said he believes the 5,000-year-old passage tomb may have been damaged in the recent storms or something. “The… Read more »

Spire Finally Useful For Something

A PROMOTIONAL stunt by the makers of Star Wars The Force Awakens aimed at turning the Spire in Dublin into a giant “lightsaber” was welcomed by all yesterday, as it finally gave the onerous monument some sort of purpose in life. The €4m Spire, officially titled the “monument of light”, has garnered nothing but shrugs… Read more »

Children’s Rights Activists Call For Ban On ‘Santa’s Not Coming If You’re Bold’ Threat

SEVERAL leading children’s rights activist groups have today called for an out-right ban on ‘Santa’s not coming if you’re bold,’ threats, claiming that the practice is nothing more than a cruel and draconian form of child abuse. Speaking at a conference on children’s rights in Dublin, chairman for The Wooden Spoon foundation, Tadhg Kent, told WWN… Read more »

Underwater Divers Discover Long Lost City Of Athlone

DIVERS in county Westmeath claim to have discovered the long lost city of Athlone during a routine training exercise this morning. Located on the River Shannon near the southern shore of Lough Ree, divers Kieran Kennedy and Patrick Doyle said they found undeniable evidence that Athlone is now submerged under water, debunking previous claims that the great city is… Read more »