Category: LOCAL NEWS

Waterford Wins 2014 Snidey Towns Award

WATERFORD city has today been named Snidey Towns winner 2014, beating competition from 849 towns and villages across the country. Minister for the Environment Alan Kelly presented the prize to the city mayor in front of a sneering crowd in John Roberts square today, where he congratulated the “worthy winners” on a fantastic achievement. “This is a fantastic news for the people… Read more »

Keyboard Water Protester Can’t Make The March Tomorrow ‘Cause He’s Busy Doing Something’

UNEMPLOYED keyboard activist Danny Kent said today he will not be able to attend tomorrow’s demonstration against water charges in Dublin because he’s “busy doing something”. Two of the country’s largest trade unions, Unite and Mandate, are organising the march which will take place in the City Centre. “Ah yeah, I had something planned ages ago, so I… Read more »

Back Alley Plastic Surgeons Now Offering ‘Blur Face’ Procedure For Criminals

ROGUE medical students in Dublin trying to support themselves through university are now offering back alley procedures to career criminals wishing to hide their identities, it has been revealed today. Face blurring, a technique first developed in Mexico, involves removing 90% of the patient’s facial features and can cost up to €10,000 per operation. Since… Read more »

Galway Dolphins Take To Land Killing 24 People

FOLLOWING on from swimmers being assaulted by dolphins in the Salthill area of Galway yesterday comes the devastating news that angry and aggressive dolphins have taken to Galway mainland killing as many as 24 people. “I wish I could say that after killing these pensioners the dolphins didn’t have the presence of mind to rifle… Read more »