Category: LOCAL NEWS

Dublin Man At Bloomsday Pretending He Read Ulysses

DUBLIN man Simon Brady has made every effort to partake in a number of Bloomsday events while explaining to people how wonderful the book Ulysses is, despite having never read it. “My favourite bit? Oh the stream of consciousness bit,” Simon told fellow attendees at an event to mark the life and work of James… Read more »

Fungi Refusing To Renew Contract With Dingle Council

LAWYERS representing Fungi the dolphin have refused to renew a four year contract with Kerry county council, claiming the marine animal’s lavish lifestyle far outreaches the €4.5mn offer they put on the table last month. Fungi, real name George Cetacea, has reportedly asked for ten million euros to continue entertaining tourists until 2019, stating that… Read more »

Irish Man Wins Gold Medal At This Year’s Banter Olympics

WEBSITES up and down the country are celebrating Ireland’s first gold medal at the inaugural Banter Olympics, held in London. Marc Colgan, 21, impressed judges with his wanton, devil may care attitude which Irish journalists in attendance confirmed ‘you just wouldn’t see anywhere else but Ireland’. Qualifying through the regional heats earlier this year, he… Read more »