Category: LOCAL NEWS

CAO Points For The Dole Reach Record High

SOME students were left disappointed this morning as the CAO points for college courses went live at 6am. However, there was no more significant a shock than the one that greeted students hoping for a place on the Dole as points for the Dole rose to their highest level in Leaving Cert history. Dole places… Read more »

Republicans Aim To Move Forward By Living In The Past

A GROUP of Republicans who turned a march marking the anniversary of the initiating of internment without trial in Northern Ireland into an impromptu petrol bomb throwing competition have confirmed that they intend to move forward by living in the past. As PSNI officers blocked the parade’s passage into Belfast city centre, several members of… Read more »

17 In 10 Foreigners Coming Over Here, Stealing Our Jobs

RECENT observations by a number of disgruntled Irish citizens have confirmed many people’s worst fears; an astonishing 17 out of 10 foreigners are coming over here, stealing our jobs. “Maths isn’t my strong point, but facts are facts,” urged Tramore local David Deasy, as he spread the damning claims on social media earlier this morning…. Read more »

Earth’s Orbit Of Sun Stuck In The Winter Bit

LOCAL astronomers have confirmed today that the Earth has unexpectedly stopped mid-orbit around the sun and has remained stationary in the ‘winter bit’ since the beginning of the year. Prof. Terrence Freeman of Waterford’s Institute of Technology said the stoppage has caused the weather to remain the same for the last seven months and doesn’t… Read more »

O’Donovan Rossa Buried Twice This Weekend For Some Reason

THE Irish public has expressed a great deal of confusion regarding the decision to commemoratively reenact the burial of Irish Republican Brotherhood founder O’Donovan Rossa twice. On the same day. In the same city. An official Glasnevin cemetery service was attended by the Taoiseach and the President and included a reenactment of Padraig Pearse’s graveside… Read more »