Category: LOCAL NEWS

Local Student House Decriminalises Cannabis

THERE were mellow scenes in a U.C.C. college house today as the main opposition to smoking marijuana in the house finally conceded after months of moaning from the two other tenants. Chief tidier of the college road abode James Keniry said that it was pointless for him to keep instructing the other members of the… Read more »

Nissan Juke Owner Also Nickelback Fan

A SEEMINGLY proud Nissan Juke owner admitted today to also being a Nickleback fan, among other things. Clare Hackett, a senior accountant in Harding And Sons in Waterford city, told WWN she sees nothing wrong with neither band nor car. “Seriously, why is this even a news story?” she said when approached by this reporter… Read more »

Nation To Freeze To Death By 5pm

CHARACTERISTICALLY unprepared for weather other nations would sunbathe in, Ireland faces complete freezing by about 5pm today, with the entire population certain to die. A variety of reasons for the total annihilation of Ireland has been provided by Met Éireann in its extensive report entitled Snow: Ah What The Fuck Do We Do? Met Éireann… Read more »

Banking Inquiry Marred By Colour Of Dress Debate

IRELAND’S banking inquiry has been derailed today as TDs sitting on the committee into the inquiry bicker intensely over the colour of a dress. Earlier this morning as David McWilliams tried to complete his evidence while wearing a cool jacket made entirely about of his new book, TDs were caught up in angry exchanges. “It’s… Read more »