Category: SPORT

McGregor Signs Deal To Get Knocked Out By Mayweather

UFC CHAMPION Conor McGregor has confirmed that he has signed his part of the deal to get knocked out by Floyd Mayweather, WWN can reveal. The highly-anticipated knockout has been rumoured for the best part of a year, but today McGregor greeted fans with some very promising news. “The first, and most important part of this historic contract has now… Read more »

Our Expert Gives You His Tips For Day 3 Of Punchestown

PUNCHESTOWN is by far the biggest event in Ireland’s horse racing calendar, and who better to run you through today’s races than 19-year-old professional gambler, Mossey Kennedy. This is my fucking day lads. I can feel it in me balls. Yours too if you stick with me. Fucking lost me stones yesterday and the day… Read more »

Local Football Fan Always Knew Barcelona Were Shit

A LEARNED STUDENT of the game known as football has broken his second long silence when it comes to criticising the current Barcelona team after their exit from this year’s Champions League. Conor Giffin took to both his local pub and social media shortly after a hugely impressive Juventus performance ushered Barcelona out of European… Read more »

McIlory Getting Married This Month, Maybe

GOLFING superstar Rory McIlroy has announced that he is to wed his fiance Erica Stoll at a lavish ceremony later this month, although concerns have been raised after the Co. Down native followed this announcement by making the ‘shush’ gesture with his finger to his lips and winking theatrically. Although he is widely regarded as one… Read more »

Dublin Lose For First Time Since 1964

KERRY have become only the second ever county to win anything in football after Dublin’s first defeat since 1964 came in the Football League final at Croke Park yesterday. Dublin’s long standing unbeaten run of 44,579 games came to an end in a game which could give hope to supporters of other counties who are… Read more »

5-A-Side Player Faces Two-Match Ban For Being A Prick

A KEY player for a Waterford 5-a-side astro football team has been handed a two-match ban by his fellow players, after repeated on-pitch offences such as blasting the ball too hard and just being a bit of a dickhead to everyone. Kevin Meehan, named locally as a prick, togs out for astro every Tuesday night with… Read more »