Category: SPORT

Local Football Fan Always Knew Barcelona Were Shit

A LEARNED STUDENT of the game known as football has broken his second long silence when it comes to criticising the current Barcelona team after their exit from this year’s Champions League. Conor Giffin took to both his local pub and social media shortly after a hugely impressive Juventus performance ushered Barcelona out of European… Read more »

McIlory Getting Married This Month, Maybe

GOLFING superstar Rory McIlroy has announced that he is to wed his fiance Erica Stoll at a lavish ceremony later this month, although concerns have been raised after the Co. Down native followed this announcement by making the ‘shush’ gesture with his finger to his lips and winking theatrically. Although he is widely regarded as one… Read more »

Dublin Lose For First Time Since 1964

KERRY have become only the second ever county to win anything in football after Dublin’s first defeat since 1964 came in the Football League final at Croke Park yesterday. Dublin’s long standing unbeaten run of 44,579 games came to an end in a game which could give hope to supporters of other counties who are… Read more »

5-A-Side Player Faces Two-Match Ban For Being A Prick

A KEY player for a Waterford 5-a-side astro football team has been handed a two-match ban by his fellow players, after repeated on-pitch offences such as blasting the ball too hard and just being a bit of a dickhead to everyone. Kevin Meehan, named locally as a prick, togs out for astro every Tuesday night with… Read more »

Football Pretty Fucking Amazing Sometimes

FOOTBALL fans have reached the unanimous conclusion that the world’s most widely played sport can be ‘pretty fucking amazing sometimes’ after watching the stunning events of last night’s Champions League clash between Barcelona and Paris Saint Germain. After taking a break from pinching one another to ensure Barcelona’s incomparable 6-1 comeback really happened, football fans… Read more »