Category: POLITICS

Ireland Opens New 17th Century Mental Health Facility

THE GOVERNMENT has welcomed their own decision to open a brand new 17th century mental health facility in an unsuitable location somewhere. The facility was opened via a ceremonial ribbon cutting to which no expert in the field of mental health was invited, although a world record for high fives and back slapping was set… Read more »

Micheál Martin Being Treated For Amnesia

MICHEÁL MARTIN has been presented to hospital staff at St. James’s Hospital by a number of worried members of the public after the Fianna Fáil appeared to be walking around in a confused state, with no recollection of much of the past 20 years. “Ah, you just have to act when you see someone so… Read more »

Prefabs The Answer To All Of Ireland’s Problems, Confirms Government

THE Government has announced a €2.7bn deal with British prefab supplier Prefabulous today in what it calls ‘The Final Solution’ to all of Ireland’s problems. In a bid to tackle everything from homelessness to the conditions experienced by Asylum Seekers, Taoiseach Enda Kenny said prefabs were the way forward in dealing with large-scale accommodation issues…. Read more »

Teenager Joining Ógra Fianna Fáil A Special Kind Of Prick

NEWS coming out of political circles reveals that the decision by 19-year-old Brian O’Loingsigh’s to join Ógra Fianna Fáil means that in all likelihood, he is a massive special kind of prick. “You’ll first have to understand that Brian will simply not think like any normal person,” explained Colm Grainey, lecturer in Irish Politics at… Read more »