Category: POLITICS

Fine Gael’s Annual Think-in Produced Close To 4 Ideas

Fine Gael’s annual ‘think-in’ has already been hailed as a great success by party members as it produced almost 4 ideas. “We’re delighted,” stressed Richard Bruton, “and if I could add, these are all new ideas, we haven’t recycled old redundant ideas I swear to God”. Fine Gael party members attended the think-in ahead of… Read more »

Cameron: “Obama Made Chicken Noises Down The Phone At Me”

THE BRITISH Prime Minister David Cameron said he was feeling a little bit left down by fellow MP’s today after losing a vote endorsing military action against Syria, adding that he was left to deal with Barack Obama ‘making chicken noises down the phone’ at him. Mr. Cameron’s non-binding motion was defeated 285-272 and had to… Read more »

Government Announces ‘Unexpected Reduction’ In TV licence Fee

THE GOVERNMENT announced its decision today to decrease the national television licence fee from September 1st 20013. Minister for Communications, Energy and Natural Resources, Pat Rabbitte, told WWN that the department received news of an ‘unexpected surge’ in funds earlier this morning, which in turn will allow the government to reduce the current licence fee… Read more »

Senator Norris ‘Only Jealous ‘ Of Our fannies, Claims Feminist Group

IRELAND’S LARGEST feminist group, the Irish Feminist Network (IFN),  said today that senator David Norris is ‘only jealous’ of their vaginas, and has asked for a formal apology from the openly gay politician over comments made to Fine Gael TD Regina Doherty. Mr. Norris came under fire after suggesting that Ms. Doherty was ‘talking through her fanny’… Read more »

Aine Collins TD Now Pregnant By Tom Barry And Seeks Abortion

FINE GAEL TD Aine Collins announced today she is now pregnant following an altercation last night in Dail chambers with party colleague Tom Barry, and will now seek to terminate the fetus. Mr. Barry has since issued an apology to Ms. Collins for ironically impregnating her after pulling her unto his lap during the Dail debate… Read more »