Category: POLITICS

“Heads Will Definitely, Probably, Maybe, Not Roll,” Taoiseach Confirms After Grace Report

READING from the same carefully prepared statement issued the last 49 times, a report into the HSE revealed myriad shortcomings in the health service which had catastrophic implications for vulnerable members of society, Taoiseach Enda Kenny explained that there may be an extremely remote chance of consequences for those responsible for the failure to protect… Read more »

European Think Tank Fills Useless Bollocks Position

THE Institute of International and European Affairs (IIEA) has today confirmed it has filled a previously advertised position for a useless bollocks with former Irish Taoiseach, Brian Cowen. Funded by big business, including AIB, Bank of Ireland, building giant CRH, Denis O’Brien’s Digicel, Google and Goldman Sachs, the non-profit policy research body said it was delighted to also announce that John… Read more »

TDs Already Signing A Card For Enda Kenny

SOURCES inside Leinster House have confirmed that several Fine Gael and Independent Alliance politicians have already signed a ‘farewell card’ for the current Taoiseach Enda Kenny, and have so far raised €67.54 towards a carriage clock in a secret whip around. “There’s barely any room left to squeeze a name in, so TDs are now being… Read more »