Category: POLITICS

Fine Gael Sues Country For Whiplash

FINE GAEL has filed a personal injury claim against the people of Ireland, following injuries sustained when the country took an unexpected turn away from the party during local and European elections. The party, headed by Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, claims that the sudden and forceful move by the electorate towards the Green Party caused severe whiplash… Read more »

Card At Front Desk For May, If Anyone Wants To Sign It

STILL struggling to process the resignation of their beloved leader Theresa May, the Conservative Party has decided to cope with treating the loss of such a respected and inspirational figure as they would the departure of any colleague, leaving a card at reception for everyone to sign, and drinks in a pub (yet to be decided) after work… Read more »

US Focuses Attention On Iran As Venezuela Having None Of Its Old Bullshit

US President Donald Trump has turned the nation’s attention to the middle east once again following a failed coup in Venezuela and a massive war itch to scratch, WWN can confirm. Issuing a warning from America’s now official announcement platform, Twitter, Trump wrote the following words, all by himself: “If Iran wants to fight, that will be the official… Read more »

Increase In Rivalling Canvassers Fighting To The Death

OVER 47 canvassers have been killed in the last two weeks following a spate of death matches between rivalling parties and independents as the local and European elections loom ever closer. Desperate to secure number one votes for their preferred politicians, volunteering canvassers have now become the most dangerous job in the country, with gardaí… Read more »

Government Rings 1850 National Broadband Plan Number For Answers

MINISTER for Communications Richard Bruton has asked the company set to receive the contract for the National Broadband Plan, Granahan McCourt, to elaborate on their plans to connect over a half a million Irish homes with fibre power broadband. WWN has the full transcript of the call below. NBP Line: Hello, and welcome to Granahan McCourt’s National Broadband Plan… Read more »