Category: POLITICS

“Don’t Worry, Your Voters Will Soon Get Used To You Letting Them Down” Martin Assures Donnelly

IN A bid to quell an online horde that is currently eviscerating Wicklow TD Stephen Donnelly, Fianna Fail leader Micheál Martin offered up some reassurance, stating that the new deputy’s voters will soon ‘get used to being let down’. Speaking in a party meeting this morning – the first for the newly appointed Brexit spokesman –… Read more »

Donnelly Stoned Or Something

FOUNDER of the Social Democrats and Wicklow TD Stephen Donnelly is believed to be high on something after stating today that he is to join Fianna Fail, despite previously saying he would not join any established political party. This morning Fianna Fail TDs were told of Mr Donnelly’s recruitment at a meeting in Leinster House, where he underwent the… Read more »

‘You’re Fucking Welcome’, Europe Tells Ireland After €13bn Apple Tax Ruling

EUROPEAN Commissioner for Competition, Margrethe Vestager, who investigated Apple’s European tax affairs has insisted that the vast majority of the company’s €13bn in unpaid tax is due to Ireland, telling the Oireachtas Finance Committee ‘you’re fucking welcome’. Ms Vestager told the hearing it would be up to Ireland as a member state to “stop dragging… Read more »

‘Good Fucking Riddance’: EU Welcomes May Speech

THE European Union has welcomed today’s speech by Theresa May, stating it was happy the British prime minister finally got her finger out. President of the European Commission Jean-Claude Juncker congratulated Mrs. May for her lengthy speech, which outlined 12 priorities for negotiations with the EU, and confirmed her government’s intention to leave the European… Read more »

Government Planning Massive Celebration For One Year Anniversary Of 1916 Centenary

THE GOVERNMENT has announced an itinerary for this year’s one year anniversary of last year’s 1916 centenary celebrations, and are aiming to commemorate the heroes who managed to make last year one of the most profitable in Ireland’s history. The 1916 centenary commemorations took up the vast majority of 2016, and provided people from all… Read more »